First, for the folks at AMC…about the AMC trailer, where the film guy hits the music stand and all of the notes fall off. Have you ever noticed how flat sounding the bass-drum sounds when the notes hit the floor? Sounds as if that effect came from a mono sound-effect collection, with all of the rest of the sounds in stereo. It just sounds very strange. And, we are getting VERY TIRED of that film guy…isn’t it time for something new?

OK, as for GLITTER, it is a bad film. Not as profoundly bad as BATTLEFIELD EARTH, or as pitifully bad as MANOS: HANDS OF FATE. At least SHOWGIRLS had Gina Gershon. GLITTER is just bad. I would categorize is as “CAN’T STOP THE MUSIC” bad. Badly written, badly performed, just plain bad. I didn’t like it much at all. But, as a connoisseur of bad movies, I had to partake of this morsel.

While I was sitting there, I couldn’t help but notice some odd things, since I certainly didn’t have to pay attention to the story. Here are my observations:

Mariah Carey has absolutely perfect eyebrows in this film. Not a hair ever out of place, and perfectly formed and matched. I’d love to know how much money went to her eyebrow wrangler.

What was with the silver “hash mark” that showed up in various places around her shoulder. Looked like a giant silver crayon attacked her.

Mariah Carey is not very attractive with her hair pulled back. In fact, she has a rather receding hairline.

Early in the film, when the girls were sitting in a dressing room, there is an movie projector sitting in the background. The projector may have been one of the better actors in the film.

If somebody owes me money, I have NO chance of collecting it if I kill him. If they are alive, at least have SOME chance of covering my losses.

The guy playing DICE had some amazingly ugly underarm hair.

I wonder if anyone’s glasses cracked when Mariah hit that high note at the end of the movie.

How old WAS that cat, anyway?

Why do all movies like this end with an overhead shot with the camera looking down, and then moving off into the distance?

I think I've had enough bad for now. I'll wait for Corky Romano to come to HBO.