This was 90 minutes of pure hell.
I didn't like it very well.
A new candidate arises not so keen
for the worst movie I've ever seen.
For guys that like to wrestle
and whose brains have no blood vessel,
or who like to play hockey
and heads are dense and rocky,
this movie would be great
and the adrenaline first rate.
But members of civilized society
of a more intelligent variety
will tend to be bored to snot
with the very predictable plot.
How long can an hour and a half be?
This film made it feel like three.
Roller skaters and motorcycles don't mate
on a track small and figure eight.
If I had the night over again
I'd have gone home before ten.
I'll not be buying the DVD
no matter how cheap it be.
The presentation was top notch
with not a single botch.
I seriously beg of all of you
not to emulate this style of review.

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Evans A Criswell
Huntsville-Decatur Movie Theatre Information Site

We are not getting that movie, so I have no previews or One-Sheets to even look at.

(Honestly, you made that up during the show you were so bored, didn't ya? )

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quote:

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Evans, with reviews like that you might just make a name for yourself and end up getting a full
time gig out of it.

(Honestly, you made that up during the show you were so bored, didn't ya? )

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About being bored -- during one point, I put my head back on the seat and closed my eyes. I was a bit tired, since this was my second movie attended that night (quite a rare thing for me to do). I'm not too fond of that kind of violence. Maybe bored wasn't the right word. Maybe "indifferent" was better. I really didn't care what happened in the movie. I just occasionally looked at my watch to see how much of it was left. I was sitting in the back row of one of the two largest auditoriums in the place.

Sorry if I am sounding a bit harsh, but that is just my opinion.

I guess if this is supposed to be an adolescent fantasy comic book/movie aimed at a very unsophisticated 12-18 year old MTV crowd, it kind of works on that level. Lots of smash-cut editing (action sequences are basically incomprehensible), stilted comic book dialog, and accompanied throughout by very loud music and sound effects (I actually liked the sound mix, and it does need to be played loud). Unfortunately I think this is supposed to be a serious action flick, and on that level it is ludicrous. If the end result is what John McTiernan intended, I am at a loss to explain his other good movies like Die Hard. I'm surprised he didn't remove his name from it and let them say it was directed by Allen Smithee.

[If the name Allen Smithee isn't familiar: Many movies have been released with the director "Allen Smithee" in the credits, a ficticious name. This was done when the real director was so unhappy with the final cut of the film that he refused to have his name associated with it. See http://www.abc.net.au/rn/arts/atoday/stories/s353584.htm for the story on Mr. Smithee.]

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- dave
I want that North American cable deal!

>>A few of the adjectives being used to describe John McTiernan's Rollerball remake: "Shockingly awful and incoherent" -- Gary Thompson, Philadelphia Daily News; "Boring and ... obvious" -- Elvis Mitchell, New York Times; "Painful, mostly lame" -- Jonathan Foreman New York Post; "An incoherent mess," -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times; "Loud, violent and mindless" -- Tom Maurstad, Dallas Morning News.<<

Bring on the original in four track mag kids. You'll make a mint.

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