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Author Topic: I Know Who Killed Me (2007) Brad Miller Administrator Posts: 17775 From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall) Registered: May 99 posted 07-27-2007 01:34 PM                     Attention all you horny and desperate guys out there...it's another phenomenally shitty movie starring one of your favorite slutty gals...Lindsey Lohan! Oh yes, you horny bastards will want to see this movie! It is loaded with scenes of Lindsey acting slutty repeatedly for extended length scenes doing strip-teases in a bar, along with every other possible chance for Lindsey to tease and act as if she wants you. I particularly love the one sequence when the police are asking her "who did this to you?" and she replies with something like "I was at work that night..." and then the movie goes off for 10 minutes into her having sex with a pole while creepy old men drool and stare at her. Then after they can't possibly cut in any more footage of this, she completes her sentence...followed by MORE pole sex! 5 minutes later she actually starts to tell what happened that night. I am so not joking here, this movie is nothing more than an excuse for the director Chris Sivertson to get his rocks off shooting young girls acting slutty in front of his camera. This movie has hands down the worst dialogue, acting and direction I have seen in at least 5 years. College movies are far better than this piece of shit! It is pretty clear that Chris Sivertson is blowing some studio executive under the table in order to be able to continue to churn out steaming piles of feces like this because according to IMDB, that fucker has made FIVE movies like this! For those of you who think I am exaggerating, I dare you to watch this. You will find yourself laughing out loud at some of the acting and dialogue that is supposed to be serious, and groaning in pain at other parts. Every single thing about this movie sucks right down to the sound mix. ***Spoilers that you would already know if you have seen the trailer*** When Lindsey finally figures out that she has an identical twin, we get the explanation of how if something happens to her twin, that it happens to her. So if her twin loses a finger, so does she. If her twin is having a hard time breathing, so does she. I would guess if one of these two twins is having an orgasm, they would both benefit. But the best part is this logic is that if one of them has to take a monster shit, the other one craps their pants!!! Oh yeah, what a great storyline. I've seen a lot of bad movies in my life, and it's really hard to pick the 10 worst movies of all time, but I am pretty sure this would be somewhere in that top 10 worst movies EVER. 0 out of 5 stars And Chris Sivertson, you suck!  |  IP: Logged Chris Slycord Film God Posts: 2986 From: 퍼항시, 경상푹도, South Korea Registered: Mar 2007 posted 07-27-2007 01:55 PM                     Why don't you tell me how you really feel.  |  IP: Logged Brad Miller Administrator Posts: 17775 From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall) Registered: May 99 posted 07-27-2007 02:25 PM                     Because your followup post is about the oldest comeback on the internet. But if you really couldn't figure it out IT WAS AWFUL!!!  |  IP: Logged Phil Hill I love my cootie bug Posts: 7595 From: Hollywood, CA USA Registered: Mar 2000 posted 07-27-2007 02:35 PM                  I liked it...  |  IP: Logged Christopher Meredith Expert Film Handler Posts: 126 From: Jackson, MS, USA Registered: Apr 2006 posted 07-27-2007 04:59 PM                        Is this bombing at anyone else's theater? I know it's a little early to judge returns, but as of 5 PM Friday, we had sold 11 tickets to this show, spread out over 3 matinee showtimes. Talk about bs  |  IP: Logged Kyle Anderson Film Handler Posts: 86 From: Tyler, TX, USA Registered: Dec 2005 posted 07-28-2007 02:26 AM                     Yup sold about 50 tickets to this one (compare that to > 700 for No Reservations) - rates somewhere near gems like Alpha Dog or Bloodrayne, or maybe even Dungeons and Dragons 2!  |  IP: Logged Bruce McGee Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1776 From: Asheville, NC USA... Nowhere in Particular. Registered: Aug 1999 posted 07-28-2007 05:48 PM                     This classic is playing in my smallest theatre... In a room not too much larger than our toilets. Glad I didnt build the print, I might want to take a bath afterward!  |  IP: Logged Mike Blakesley Film God Posts: 12767 From: Forsyth, Montana Registered: Jun 99 posted 07-28-2007 06:10 PM                        I used to have hope for Lindsay Lohan. She seemed to have her head on straight back in the day. But no more. She's torpedoed her own career. Too bad, too...she really does have talent.  |  IP: Logged Kurt Zupin Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 989 From: Maricopa, Arizona Registered: Oct 2004 posted 07-29-2007 04:22 AM                     What talent is that Mike? No gag reflexs? Actually she was decent in Mean Girls, but maybe I'm partial to that because it had The Janitor in it from Scrubs. The great Neal Flyn. Now on to the movie, can I have the last two hours of my life back. I can't say anything that the Grand Pooh-baaa hasn't already said or anybody else for that matter. This film just sucks bad.  |  IP: Logged Josh Rosen Film Handler Posts: 49 From: Toronto, Ontario, Canda Registered: May 2007 posted 07-29-2007 05:36 PM                    I still think that they only movie she was ever good in was Parent Trap. When she is in the news now I just think back to that movie and wonder what the heck happened...  |  IP: Logged Mark Lensenmayer Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1605 From: Upper Arlington, OH Registered: Sep 1999 posted 07-29-2007 06:23 PM                     I loved this comment from a review of this film on WaffleMovies.Com quote: I wish I could say one nice thing about the movie, but even my old stand by of, “At least, it started on time,” doesn’t apply here. After a 20 minute delay in starting the movie, I had to assume the projector was taking an ethical stand and refusing to be party to the heinous act of showing this movie to people who were forced to pay for it.  |  IP: Logged Shane Cooper Expert Film Handler Posts: 232 From: Little Rock, Arkansas Registered: Jun 2004 posted 07-29-2007 09:29 PM                     At least everyone agrees that this sucks. It has a Cinemascore of F!  |  IP: Logged Claude S. Ayakawa Film God Posts: 2738 From: Waipahu, Hawaii, USA Registered: Aug 2002 posted 07-30-2007 01:19 AM                        She was very charming in THE PARENT TRAP. The original film starring Hayley Mills was one of my favorite for many years but I now prefer the remake to the original because of Lindsay Lohan's performance. Her biggest problem was growing up to be the kind of person she is now. Sad! I have no intention to see her new movie in a theatre or on DVD. -Claude  |  IP: Logged Chad M Calpito Master Film Handler Posts: 435 From: San Diego, CA Registered: Apr 2006 posted 07-30-2007 10:35 AM                        After reading the reviews here in this forums, makes me really wonder about this film. Hmmmmmmmm!  |  IP: Logged Mark Lensenmayer Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1605 From: Upper Arlington, OH Registered: Sep 1999 posted 07-30-2007 02:22 PM                     I had a "private screening" of this film today...no one else showed up. Art Bell!!! No one mentioned this film has an appearance by ART BELL! The king of the night, and the man with more retirements than anyone I know of. He sure didn't look very healthy, though. This is a bad movie. Not giganticly bad, as was BATTLEFIELD EARTH, but still BAD. BAD story, BAD acting, BAD music, even BAD sound effects (I used that OWL cry years and years ago from an Audio-Fidelity LP). Why didn't they hold this thing until October for Halloween season? Almost ANYTHING horror related makes money then. I really don't find "LiLo" to be very attractive. I don't see much personality there at all, and that body is certainly nothing to pay much attention to. Worst films ever in my opinion are RABBIT TEST (A Joan Rivers film where Billy Crystal played a pregnant man), NOTHING BUT TROUBLE: an incredibly unfunny film by Dan Ackroyd, and WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM: a Bill Murray film about Hunter Thompson. Saw this at the only local REGAL-plex. You REGAL folks sure like it COLD. I about FROZE. And I especially liked the little usher guy who came into the theatre a few times. He walked in, came to the center aisle of the room, climbed up 4 steps, then turned around and marched off. He went to the same step every time before turning around. Actually, it was rather disruptive...but in this case, anything that diverted from the film was welcome.  |  IP: Logged

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