What do you think and what rules did I miss?

15 Rules for Movie Goers

1. Show up to the film on time. We start the films at the posted show time. We generally have 3 previews of coming attractions on the screen. At a minute and thirty seconds each, that means that we have about 4.5 minutes of pre-show here at the Rialto. If you show up five minutes late for the film, you have already missed something. Don’t be late.

2. We have to wear shirts and shoes to work and you should do the same. This has generally not been a problem here at the Rialto, but if I don’t mention it, somebody will take it, as tacit approval to come to the theatre wearing nothing but a Speedo, and nobody wants to see that.

3. We cannot capriciously discount the cost of a movie ticket or concessions item, so don’t even ask. We are a business; we are in business to make money. There is no bargaining.

4. Seniors are 55 and older. That is the youngest age for any movie theatre I have ever been to. Be grateful; inform the staff so that you may get your discount. Don’t ask for more.

5. We are a cash business. We cannot accept credit cards at the moment. They take more time than cash transactions, and they charge a percentage of our business. So in order to keep lines short, and keep admissions reasonable, we do not accept credit cards. Checks take way to long to write so save those checks for large purchases like gift certificates and passport cards. Please don’t be angry with our cashier because you don’t have any cash on you. Stop at an ATM before you come to the movies.

6. If there is a problem, please inform an employee. We can’t be everywhere at once and we sometimes are unable to see if something is amiss. They are here to help, be polite; they don’t make enough money to put up with rudeness. We will try to do everything within our power to make it right.

7. While watching a film, have respect for your fellow moviegoers, be quiet. No talking is allowed while watching a movie. If there is a complaint you will be asked to keep quiet. If you are unable to keep quiet you will be required to leave the theatre.

8. Much as you appreciate your children, most others do not. If the child is unable to understand the movie, don’t bring it. No children will be admitted to films rated R and above. If you have a young baby, hire a babysitter. If you cannot afford to hire a babysitter you cannot afford to come to the movies. Stay home and watch the independent film channel. We will still be here when your child can appreciate us. Crying Children will be required to leave the theatre.

9. Show times change on Friday. Read a newspaper, look at our website www.rialtocinemas.com, Read our email (which can be signed up for at the theatre or on our website, or call our recording (525-4840) to find out the show times.

10. Frequently we have special events on Thursday. Please read the ad in the paper carefully to find out if the show time has been canceled for a special event. It is in fine print.

11. Traditionally no outside food and drink is allowed in any movie theatre in the United States. Some mall theatres have an agreement with the other mall food vendors, but not us. It’s rude to bring in outside food and drink to a movie theatre, just like it’s rude to bring in your own bottle of wine to the restaurant, or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to McDonald’s. We have tried not to make a big deal out of this, but it annoys us to have to pick up your garbage. So if you pack it in, pack it out. And don’t be surprised if we ask you to finish it outside. Water is the exception.

12. Please look around you before you leave the theatre. We have a fine supply of outerwear and reading glasses in our lost and found. We do leave the theatre dark for the credits as a courtesy to the filmmakers.

13. Please take and keep your film stub with you. It is your cash receipt and should something go wrong, it is the only way to get a cash refund. If we have a black out or a catastrophic mechanical problem, you will be given a pass to come again. No cash refunds are given after the first 20 minutes of the film. The cash is gone. Refunds are not given should you have not enjoyed the film. Although a movie theatre is an amusement, your amusement is not guaranteed, only that we show the film properly is guaranteed.

14. We show a wide variety of films. We show film for all kinds of people. Should something in the film offend your delicate sensibilities, please don’t take it out on the staff. You never know if something that doesn’t sit will with you is an inspiration to others. Have an open mind, it takes all kinds. People like to see film about people like them. Don’t begrudge people this experience.

15. The world is a large place and unlike Star Trek not everybody speaks English. We are the anti Hollywood movie theatre. We therefore tend to show a great many foreign films. We get to pick and choose the best films from around the world. So that we can hear the original voices of the actors, we Americans like to subtitle films. Trust me this is much more progressive than the French insisting that everything be dubbed in to French. No art theatre in the country advertises that the film is subtitled, that would be cutting off some of our audience. So here’s a hint; if the preview has only a voice over and no actor speaks in it, it is probably in a foreign language and has subtitles. You can always call and ask, but we think it is a little narrow minded of you to dismiss a film just because it has subtitles. Give it a chance, after 10 minutes I forget that the subtitles are there and start to think I can understand Chinese.

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If there's a story behind the Speedo, though, you must give it up to us!

Great post my friend... I would absolutely LOVE to print this and distribute it at the box office with every ticket purchased! I'm sure that the higher ups would NOT care for it.. but I'd love to let theatre patrons in general know that we ARE a business and we do have industry standards.

For example, here's something that happened to us today at my theatre.... Woman comes in to see x movie with her child using Refund Tickets. Ok, so there was an obvious reason why she had the tickets to begin iwth, but I don't knwo the reason.... Anyway, she attempts to use her debit/ATM card to pay for a concession purchase only to realize that she doesn't have her PIN# with her and she has no money. She berates us becuase we can't process her transaction without her PIN#. Yes, people are this fucking stupid sometimes... It gets better.. she demands that we do something... so my assistant wound up giving her a drink and popcorn just to shut her up and get her out of my lobby.

Now I ask you.. what would YOU have done? Would you have given this woman anything free or told her, sorry, no PIN#, no sale, no cash no sale. I mean damn, I didn't take her and her damn kid to raise...

People these days amaze me...

Aside from this minor incident, we had a GREAT wknd.. which is what we needed. Too bad it's the next to last summer wknd we'll have..

Rant mode off.

You forgot a rule:

7A: If you take a cell-phone into an auditorium, turn it off so it will not ring. Do not talk on a cell-phone while in an auditorium. While you may think that having your cell-phone ring in a theatre makes others see you as "special" or "important", you may be surprised at how many people would love to severely injure you, since few things cause more feelings of anger than hearing a cell-phone go off. There is no excuse for having a cell-phone turned on in a theatre so that it will emit an audible ring during a movie. If your cell-phone rings and an usher sees you, you will required to leave the theatre.

Oh, here's another:

Do not use any kind of light-emitting device, such as a laser pointer to distract people by shining it on the screen during the show. Anyone caught doing so will be castrated. (I say castrated since I've only seen tennage and pre-teen guys do this).

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Evans A Criswell
Huntsville-Decatur Movie Theatre Info Site

One more point to add:

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SIT DOWN! SHUT UP! SOME OF THE AUDIENCE HAS GUNS AND DON"T LIKE TO BE DISTURBED. COMPLAIN AT YOUR OWN RISK, WE ARE CONNECTED WITH THE LOCAL MAFIA. ALL COMPLAINTS AND PROBLEM CUSTOMERS ARE REFERRED TO GUIDO, WHO HAS A BASEBALL BAT. ENJOY THE SHOW.

Most of the audiences in New York with extremely rare exceptions know how to behave in theatres. I have seen more problems in neighborhood theatres where they are showing second run movies.

If the concession prices are reasonable I will purchase items, but if they are reaching in my pocket and stealing my money...I sneak in my own snacks.

If someone wanted to post their rules that is one thing. If someone handed me a sheet with the rules, I would throw it away.

The old time theatres had slides asking people to behave. A cutsie graphic on a slide can go a long way towards educating folks without being cross sounding.

Do you put your feet on your furniture at home!

Beware, what happened to that obnixous movie goer in Scary Movie could happen to you!

1. DO NOT lock patrons in the auditorium by running a broom handle between the two door handles.
2. DO NOT steal light bulbs.
3. DO NOT try to catch the mice or rats during a show.
4. DO NOT scream mouse or EEEK in the middle of a crowded auditorium.
5. DO NOT call your friend on your cell phone because you forgot where you were sitting in the auditorium.

I had a funky weekend.

P.S. I'm looking for a professionally made sign that reads "We Implant Cell Phones Rectally." I need 11, one for each door .

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Thanks I can't belive I forgot the cell phone rule. That is the number one rule at the Telluride Film Festival.