Two bored dealers are waiting around for someone to walk up and try their luck at the craps table.

A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.

The dealers agree.

She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm bottomless."

With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants!"

She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!"

With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves.

The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.

Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"

You no longer associate bridges with water.

You can say "115 degrees" without fainting.

You have made instant sun tea.

You have learned that a seat belt makes a good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 85, and you feel a bit chilled.

You have never seen a snow shovel and don't know anyone who owns one.

You have learned that, in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

You have discovered you can get a sunburn through your car window.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade, not distance.

You know someone who has paid to get a job parking cars.

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is on the streets.

Half of the people you know work in a casino.

Hot water comes out of both taps.

You do not own an umbrella and would not know where to go to get one.

You don't find it strange that the grocery store, the drug store and the 7-11 all have slot machines in them.

You are comfortable at 102 degrees.

You have spent the entire day trying to find a store that carries snow chains for your car.

You actually burned your hand opening the car door.

No one you know would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.

If the local weather service records 0.02 inches they call it rain.

You don't know anyone who owns a raincoat.

You have cooked a dozen eggs in the trunk of your car between the grocery store and your home.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

Half of your neighbors are from California and the other half are from New York.

You think snow on the ground is an abstract concept.

You have forgotten how to drive on wet roads.

The local cows have been known to give powdered milk.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

You pray, "I wish it would rain; not so much for me, because I've seen it, but for my 7-year-old."

You can say, "but it's dry heat" without laughing.

The water in your pool has been too hot to swim in and you don't even have a heater.

You have ever cooked outside without lighting the grill.

Your power bill in the summer is more than your mortgage payment.

You have had to take out a loan to pay your water bill.

You think it was better when the "Mob" ran the town.

You have ever thought, "If I only had the neon and lightbulb concession."

You have ever golfed when it was 117 degrees.

You have visited the Eiffel Tower, the Statue of Liberty, Venice, and the Pyramids and never had to leave town.

The song "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas" has no real meaning.

You can't buy a car on Sunday from a car dealer, but you can buy a drink, gamble or get a massage.

You think it is autumn when the temperature drops to 99 degrees.

You've golfed in December in a short sleeved shirt.

You've tried to work on your car in the summertime and burned your hand picking up a wrench left laying in the sun.

You've never had an auto battery last more than three years.

VIVA Las Vegas!

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