When you get what you want
in your struggle
for self
And the world makes you
king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look
at yourself
And see what that man has
to say

For it isn't your father
mother or wife
Whose judgement upon you
must pass,
The fellow whose verdict
count's most in your life
Is the one staring back from
the glass

Some people may think
your a straight shooten
Chum
And call you a wonderful
guy
But the man in the glass
says your only a bum
If you can't look him
Straight in the eye.

He's the fellow to please,
never mind all the rest.
for he's with you clear up to
the end
And you've passed your most
dangerous difficult test
If the man in the glass is
your friend

A Touching poem.....

Sometimes you will cry
and no one will see your tears...

Sometimes you will laugh
and no one will see you smile...

Sometimes you will fear
and no one will see you shudder...

Sometimes you will lie
and no one will catch you up...

Sometimes you will fall
and no one will see you struggle...

Sometimes you will be late
and no one seems to notice...

Osama Poem

Oh Osama Bin Laden
You Son of a Bitch
May Your Balls Develop
A 7 Year Itch

May Your Pecker Be Twisted
in Such a Manner
That Your Asshole Whistles
The Star Spangled Banner

God Bless America

Milk Poem

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The Drunk Poem

Suzy Brown

There once was a girl named suzy brown
who thought no body could lay her down.
When over the hill came Pissball Pete
with forty feet of swinging meat.

He took here in the long green grass,
stuck his dick right up her ass.
Suzy brown let go a fart
blew his balls forty feet apart.

Over the hill came pissball pete
with forty feet of Shredded meat.

In the Garden of Eden,
as everyone knows,
Live Adam and Eve,
without any clothes.

In this garden,
were two little leaves,
One covered Adam's,
one covered Eve's.

As the story goes on,
never the less to say,
The wind came along,
and blew the leaves away.

At the sight,
Adam did stare,
There was Eve's treasure,
all covered with hair.

And wonder came,
under Eve's eyes,
As Adam's thing,
started to rise.

They found a spot,
that suited them best,
A nice big tree,
where they began to rest.

Her legs spread wider,
and wider apart,
While thrill after thrill,
came into her heart.

The head of Adam's thing,
peeked into the hole,
And filled her with passion,
beyond her control.

Backward and forward,
his thing did slide,
And Eve's treasure,
was all wet inside.

CARDS YOU WILL NEVER
SEE IN A HALLMARK STORE:

1. So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

2. My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire.
I noticed your cat. Sorry!

3. You had your bladder removed
and you're on the mend.
Here's a bouquet of flowers,
and a box of Depends.

4. Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy.

5. Heard your wife left you.
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it,
She moved in with me.

6. Looking back over the years that we've
been together, I can't help but wonder:
What the HELL was I thinking?

7. Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your wife.

8. I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

9. As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am
that you're not here to ruin it for me.

10. As you grow older, Mom,
I think of all the gifts you've given me.
Like the need for therapy...

THE OUTHOUSE POEM

The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.

No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.

"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.

With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.

With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car
Just like three gals before.

She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.

She tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.

Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.

A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.

He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tike,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.

America Stands

Osama Bin Laden, your time is short;
We'd rather you die, than come to court.

Why are you hiding if it was in God's name?
Your just a punk with a turban; a pathetic shame.

I have a question, about your theory and laws;
"How come you never die for the cause?"

Is it because you're a coward who counts on others?
Well here in America, we stand by our brothers.

As is usual, you failed in your mission;
If you expected pure chaos, you can keep on wishing

Americans are now focused and stronger than ever;
Your death has become our next endeavor.

What you tried to kill, doesn't live in our walls;
It's not in buildings or shopping malls.

If all of our structures came crashing down;
It would still be there, safe and sound.

Because pride and courage can't be destroyed;
Even if the towers leave a deep void.

We'll band together and fill the holes
We'll bury our dead and bless their souls.

But then our energy will focus on you;
And you'll feel the wrath of the Red, White and Blue.

So slither and hide like a snake in the grass;
Because America's coming to kick your ass!!!