|
|
This topic comprises 3 pages: 1 2 3
|
|
Author
|
Topic: Projectionist and Film Humor
|
Evans A Criswell
Phenomenal Film Handler
Posts: 1579
From: Huntsville, AL, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
|
posted 08-12-2000 11:04 PM
I've been wanting to see something like this for a long time -- a collection of projection and film related jokes. Here is the chance for all of you to think of a joke or riddle that is projectionist, projector, or film related.I'll start with some really bad ones: What is a projectionist's favorite mouthwash?
Scope. If you send a valentine to a female projectionist, what do you send to one you don't?
A Ballantyne. What did the projectionist get when he made love to Christie?
Perforations on his private part. Why did the projector love the platters?
Because they were Strong. What did one projector such a successful athlete?
It had a longer throw. What did the projector do when it was laid on its back?
Throw up. Why do some projectionists not believe in using platters?
They're not reel. Why was the movie seem so one-dimensional?
It was flat. What is the first thing to do before getting into too serious a relationship with a projector?
Check her aperture plate and make sure it hasn't been filed out too much. What did the long-haired projectionist get when his hair got caught in the platter's payout mechanism?
A brain-wrap. What did the film say when the payout platter stopped?
Don't worry! I've got it all wrapped up. Why did the shutter timing problem be found by the technician?
It was an intermittent problem. What do projectionists play pool with?
Changeover cues. Contribute! This may be the first such compilation ever of these kinds of jokes. If I can think up this many horrible jokes in a 15 minute period, I'm sure y'all can do much better. 
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Evans A Criswell
Phenomenal Film Handler
Posts: 1579
From: Huntsville, AL, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
|
posted 08-14-2000 07:22 PM
One person on this forum had this one in the sig file:Old projectionists never die; they just changeover.
Don't feel limited by having to stick to any particular joke format. Post any type of joke that comes to mind, whether it be riddle, poem, prose, or one-liner.
Here is another projection humor possibility:
Last night, I thought about a story I wrote using chemistry terms. To see what I'm talking about, see http://www.itsc.uah.edu/~criswell/chemistry.html . It was inspired by remembering a naughty little story I saw back in the late 1970s using the names of candy bars. I figure we could do the same with film projector terms (part names, technical terms, nicknames for parts or terms, brand names, presentation-related terms, etc.).
| IP: Logged
|
|
Aaron Sisemore
Flaming Ribs beat Reeses Peanut Butter Cups any day!
Posts: 3061
From: Rockwall TX USA
Registered: Sep 1999
|
posted 08-14-2000 09:48 PM
How About...Drive-In projectionists have the longest......<ahem> throws  I like the idea about the story with the terms thrown in as the standard/double entendre dialogue, a good example is the song 'Wet Dream' by Kip Adotta... My girlfriend and I had once done a story using the names of theatre chains in the dialogue, some of it was rather funny... Aaron
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ethan Harper
E-dawggg!!!
Posts: 325
From: Plano, TX, USA
Registered: May 2000
|
posted 08-15-2000 06:10 PM
How about making up porno titles for other movies? Here is some that my friend and I have come up with:Galxaies Chest for Galaxy Quest
Double "D" Jeopardy ------------------
--"That's my story and i'm sticking to it!"--
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dwayne Caldwell
Master Film Handler
Posts: 323
From: Rockwall, TX, USA
Registered: Apr 2000
|
posted 08-16-2000 08:14 PM
How 'bout?Film is the best medium because it's presented to people on a silver platter.
If Brad had a groaner smiley, I'd have used it.
------------------
The man with the magic hands.
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
All times are Central (GMT -6:00)
|
This topic comprises 3 pages: 1 2 3
|
Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM
6.3.1.2
The Film-Tech Forums are designed for various members related to the cinema industry to express their opinions, viewpoints and testimonials on various products, services and events based upon speculation, personal knowledge and factual information through use, therefore all views represented here allow no liability upon the publishers of this web site and the owners of said views assume no liability for any ill will resulting from these postings. The posts made here are for educational as well as entertainment purposes and as such anyone viewing this portion of the website must accept these views as statements of the author of that opinion
and agrees to release the authors from any and all liability.
|
Home
Printer-friendly view of this topic