Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became know as the lesser of two weevils.

Two Eskimos sitting in a Kayak were chilly, When they lit a fire in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your Kayak and heat it, too.

A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West.He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about a half an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse."But why?" they asked as they moved off. "Because, " he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. On of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal". The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receivibg the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds,"They're twins! If you've seen Juan you've seen Amal."

These friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God. A rival florist shop across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and brgged the friers to close. They ignored him, So the rival florist hired Hugh McTaggart the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, proving that: Hugh and only Hugh, can prevent florist friers.

We all know who Gandi was, right? He was a spritual man who fasted regularly. Some may not realize that fasting, when practiced regularly and for extended periods, leads not only to weight loss, but can also cause bad breath.No matter, his interests were higher. This great leader hardly ever wore shoes. One might say he was a super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

And finally, there was this person who sent ten different puns to film-teckers, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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