Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE: Butt Candles! Get 'em while they're hot.

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Topic: Butt Candles! Get 'em while they're hot.

Brad Miller
Administrator

Posts: 17775
From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall)
Registered: May 99

posted 02-08-2002 03:41 AM

Yes, you read that right. Someone in their infinite wisdom has come up with the idea of the "butt candle" and is marketing it as a replacement for stubborn poo. The crap you can find on the internet never ceases to amaze me! (Pun intended)
www.buttcandle.com

From the instructions section: "As the candle burns, a vacuum will be created within the rectum and thereby draw out the stubborn..." Excuse me???

Check out the FAQ section: "If we're talking about a really hairy bottom there is some risk of folicular ignition and special caution must be exercised." "Folicular ignition"? Uh, yeah.

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Paul G. Thompson
The Weenie Man

Posts: 4718
From: Mount Vernon WA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-08-2002 03:45 AM

Only Brad....

I can hardly wait for Bob Maar to chime in on this one...

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Brad Miller
Administrator

Posts: 17775
From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall)
Registered: May 99

posted 02-08-2002 03:47 AM

Hey, YOU'RE the WEENIE MAN, Paul!

And no I didn't actually go searching the internet for a constipation remedy. Thankfully that isn't a problem (yet). I posted that for a forum member who found it but was too embarassed to post it.

Perhaps we should give out complimentary Film-Tech embossed butt candles at ShoWest?

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Rachel Gilardi
Madam Moderator

Posts: 2214
From: Peabody, MA, USA
Registered: Dec 2007

posted 02-08-2002 03:47 AM

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack be at buttcandle.com???? HAHAHA

------------------
Brad, you're pretty darn Chipper yourself!!!

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Sean M. Grimes
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 247
From: Lunenburg, MA
Registered: Apr 2000

posted 02-08-2002 03:48 AM

from the website...

quote:
With every order, we include a free 18 minute VHS video as well as printed instructions.

where in the Hell did you find this?

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Paul G. Thompson
The Weenie Man

Posts: 4718
From: Mount Vernon WA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-08-2002 03:50 AM

Brad, I understand perfectly....

I have to admit it was the best laugh I had today. Thanks. I needed that.

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Christopher Santapaola
Film Handler

Posts: 38
From: Gloucester, MA, USA
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 02-08-2002 08:13 AM

The referenced material on this page will never fail to surprise me. Film-Tech has the best answers to any question including constipation.

A truly enlightening experiance I am sure.

And rachel everyone is Chipper

------------------
-Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player that walks, and struts its hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot. Full of sound and fury signifying nothing.

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Jerry Chase
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1068
From: Margate, FL, USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-08-2002 08:39 AM

ROTFL!!! I've seen people that were taken in by ear-candling and were amazed and delighted with the results. This site should flush out the true believers in quackery.

Some ideas to improve the site:

The site needs an embedded midi. My suggestions are:
"Candle in the Wind"
"Classical Gas" or
"Light My Fire."

How about a slogan?
"It is better to light one little candle than curse the constipation."

I'm sure some of the porno binaries have pictures...

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Christopher Duvall
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 500
From: Denver, CO
Registered: Dec 1999

posted 02-08-2002 08:42 AM

W T F ???
I cannot even come up with something witty about this. I am speechless...

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Joe Beres
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 606
From: Minneapolis, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-08-2002 09:39 AM

Brad said:

quote:
And no I didn't actually go searching the internet for a constipation remedy. Thankfully that isn't a problem (yet). I posted that for a forum member who found it but was too embarassed to post it.

Uh huh, yeah, it was someone else you asked you to post it. That's the ticket.

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Bob Maar
(Maar stands for Maartini)

Posts: 28608
From: New York City & Newport, RI
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 02-08-2002 10:22 AM

:brad:

et al.

They may do Butt piercing in the near future. Please send pictures for posting in the Joke Forum.

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Ron Lacheur
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 650
From: British Columbia, Canada
Registered: Feb 2002

posted 02-08-2002 12:20 PM

LOL

Q: Is the ButtCandle . approved by the FDA?
A: No.

who WOULD approve of it?

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Paul Mayer
Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under!

Posts: 3836
From: Albuquerque, NM
Registered: Feb 2000

posted 02-08-2002 01:37 PM

Two questions:
What happens if you get the hiccups?
When's Joe shooting the training video?

Paul
Underemployed mercenary film/video projectionist/engineer
"Otaku wa tsurai yo" <-- Yeah I know, bad pun. Sue me.
It's tough being a fan!

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Don Sneed
Master Film Handler

Posts: 451
From: Texas City, TX, USA
Registered: Aug 2001

posted 02-08-2002 03:37 PM

"BUTT CANDLE"....Whoooaaa Weeeee, can't you imagine if something goes wrong & the poor baster has to go to the emergency room & say...."Huh..Can You Please Dig This Out" !!!

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Keith Peticolas
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 108
From: Eagle River, Alaska, USA
Registered: Aug 2001

posted 02-08-2002 04:12 PM

Hey Don, I've hung around a few emergency rooms during my days as a news photog. Candles would be the least upsetting things they've had to remove from the rear end of humans.

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