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» Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE   » Community   » Film-Yak   » I don't think they've got it quite right. (Page 1)

 
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Author Topic: I don't think they've got it quite right.
Stephen Furley
Film God

Posts: 3059
From: Coulsdon, Croydon, England
Registered: May 2002


 - posted 06-15-2002 08:05 AM      Profile for Stephen Furley   Email Stephen Furley   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Anyone care to count the errors in this:
http://www.supersam.co.uk/cine/techldsn.htm

Maybe Film-Tech should consider taking on this person as a technical writer.

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Michael Brown
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1522
From: Bradford, England
Registered: May 2001


 - posted 06-15-2002 10:35 AM      Profile for Michael Brown   Email Michael Brown   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Highlights:
Polishing my tape splices? hmmmm

I'm glad U rated films do not offend, disturb, or harm dead people???


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Mike Blakesley
Film God

Posts: 12767
From: Forsyth, Montana
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 06-15-2002 12:35 PM      Profile for Mike Blakesley   Author's Homepage   Email Mike Blakesley   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
When you go to the "polishing my tape splices" link above, be sure to scroll down to the part called "undoing splices." This is just too goofy to believe.

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Paul G. Thompson
The Weenie Man

Posts: 4718
From: Mount Vernon WA USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 06-15-2002 12:45 PM      Profile for Paul G. Thompson   Email Paul G. Thompson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
What the......??????

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Ken Lackner
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1907
From: Atlanta, GA, USA
Registered: Sep 2001


 - posted 06-15-2002 12:56 PM      Profile for Ken Lackner   Email Ken Lackner   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
"Anyone care to count the errors in this...."

I don't know anything about magnetic sound, but from reading the splicing page, I can only imagine how many errors there are. What the???? is right!

Just for gits and shiggles, he's gotta be talking about acetate film, right? Glue doesn't stick to polyestar, right? (Not that I would ever ever ever try anything like that!)

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Michael Brown
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1522
From: Bradford, England
Registered: May 2001


 - posted 06-15-2002 01:02 PM      Profile for Michael Brown   Email Michael Brown   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
He intends this


to run through a projector WTF??

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Michael Barry
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 584
From: Sydney, NSW, Australia
Registered: Nov 1999


 - posted 06-15-2002 01:11 PM      Profile for Michael Barry   Email Michael Barry   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This guy HAS to be joking. This cannot be real. But as a joke, it's not that funny, unlike Joe's stuff.

What gives?

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Brad Miller
Administrator

Posts: 17775
From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall)
Registered: May 99


 - posted 06-15-2002 01:45 PM      Profile for Brad Miller   Author's Homepage   Email Brad Miller       Edit/Delete Post 
You guys missed the first paragraph on the front page of the website.

quote:
To not mess around, with the old saying "Film is made out of silver, video is made out of rust", and just get down to facts. Honest, checked in reputable books like Oldham's and Haliwells, and this site HAS been checked by the BBC, and is 100% accurate.

See, it IS accurate!

By the way, for anyone reading this thread or especially that website that is confused, we are joking about that website being accurate and having good information! (You never know when someone won't get the joke and start glue-splicing their films.)

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Evans A Criswell
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1579
From: Huntsville, AL, USA
Registered: Mar 2000


 - posted 06-15-2002 02:11 PM      Profile for Evans A Criswell   Author's Homepage   Email Evans A Criswell   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I was abit amazed at the mixture of film and videotape technology. "helical scan film"! And VistaVision using a record synchronized with the projector! Ha Ha Ha. This was great. I needed something to pick me up this afternoon.

------------------
Evans A Criswell
Huntsville-Decatur Movie Theatre Information Site

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Stephen Furley
Film God

Posts: 3059
From: Coulsdon, Croydon, England
Registered: May 2002


 - posted 06-15-2002 02:16 PM      Profile for Stephen Furley   Email Stephen Furley   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Or try this classic from the Film Vs Television section:

"What is film's resolution. Infinite. The only breakdown with film is the grain. 16mm film, copied 6 times (The average amount for a 16mm production), on a economy stock is accepted to have a resolution of 1 333 333x1 000 000 (1.3 Million x 1 million). A high quality stock (Kodachrome 25) on the first print is accepted to have a minimum quality of 2.6 billion x 2 billion pixels! That is only with 16mm! The only problem with film is that for every copy, it is accepted the quality halves! That is why you can see grain if you sit close to the screen."

I had only seen one page when I made the first post, I hadn't realised there was more.

I never knew that film had infinate resolution, this is essential reading for all film handlers.


It's a pity that the new Star Wars film wasn't shot om 16mm Kodachrome 25! 5.2*10^18 pixels, (assuming he's using American billions).

Sure beats the Sony camera.

Where does he get this nonsense from? And someone please tell him that film doesn't have pixels.

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Stephen Furley
Film God

Posts: 3059
From: Coulsdon, Croydon, England
Registered: May 2002


 - posted 06-15-2002 02:32 PM      Profile for Stephen Furley   Email Stephen Furley   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
----------------------------------------------------------------------
To not mess around, with the old saying "Film is made out of silver, video is made out of rust", and just get down to facts. Honest, checked in reputable books like Oldham's and Haliwells, and this site HAS been checked by the BBC, and is 100% accurate.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

So it is a joke, well that's a relief. I must admit, the sound page had me fooled, I wasn't quite sure when I read the 'Film Vs Television' bit. I hadn't seen the film splicing tips.

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John Moriarty
Film Handler

Posts: 50
From: Cambridge, UK
Registered: Feb 2002


 - posted 06-15-2002 04:45 PM      Profile for John Moriarty   Email John Moriarty   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
from the http://www.supersam.co.uk/cine/backissue.htm page

referring to nitrate film (though he doesn't actually call it that):

quote:
You will be able to tell that they are non - saftey films because by now they will smell strongly of vinegar. They also, by now, will be EXTREMELY EXPLOSIVE. Do not move them, because they may just "blow up". They are extremely flammable, because they ARE the same formula as smokeless gunpowder. The only difference is that the gunpowder is cured for several weeks in quite high heats (500 degrees C) However, the time will cure the film, so it reaches it's "prime". This means that you have about 10kg of gunpowder on your hands. An average cannon uses about 50g of gunpowder, so you have enough gunpowder to fire a cannon 200 times (Or 200 cannons once!). You should be able to see why it is dangerous. If you are in the belief it goes past its prime, you are wrong. It doesn't. In fact, it becomes so volatile that anything like a fly landing on the tin will trigger it. (This has been known to happen).

Now, I know that ntirate film isn't the safest material in the world, and I am not an expert in balistics chemistry, but..... this does seem just a little over the top. It almost sounds as if picking up the tin is enough to kill you. I dread to think what the fire officer would say if he saw this .

John

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Dennis Atkinson
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 129
From: Birch Run Michigan
Registered: Feb 2000


 - posted 06-15-2002 05:29 PM      Profile for Dennis Atkinson   Author's Homepage   Email Dennis Atkinson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
VistVision ~ Vitaphone, close enough!
This has got to be a U.K. joke.

Dennis

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Paul G. Thompson
The Weenie Man

Posts: 4718
From: Mount Vernon WA USA
Registered: Nov 2000


 - posted 06-15-2002 06:42 PM      Profile for Paul G. Thompson   Email Paul G. Thompson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ken, I made splices with super glue on occasion just for the heck of it. It works.

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Scott Norwood
Film God

Posts: 8146
From: Boston, MA. USA (1774.21 miles northeast of Dallas)
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 06-16-2002 10:28 PM      Profile for Scott Norwood   Author's Homepage   Email Scott Norwood   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I've heard people refer to cement splices as "glue" splices. It's not really accurate, but not totally unreasonable, either.

And, yes, the web site referenced is very funny.

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