THE FIRST TWELVE PAGES

Once upon a time, Ken's xenon was too SMALL To play with So he went up to the deep sky then said "what the world needs now is better movies because my DLP is running "Freddy Got Fingered and you can't see no steenkin pixels! Wait, no I forgot to change the projection lens Those pixels are obnoxious as hell! What is Lucas going to do when all the projectionists decide to place pb&j sandwhiches down their pants in an attempt to keep them nuts ...chunky style soup helps to make sure that you don't accidentally miss the changeover or worse yet, touch your xenon on the bulb. Because that would blow it up and create a real loud BOOM! It would also make Manny say "Hey, let's be careful out there gosh darn ya!" So if I change into my bulb changing clothes that I keep on top of my dragqueen clothes I Just Might put on makeup what the heck my best dress tuxedo is now at the cleaners Oh what will my friends think when I say "This one time I'm going to place my xenon on top of my blue car and go to the manager's office I'll demand that the cyan dye isn't water-soluble, but drink it with gin and Filmguard on the rocks only to discover that Joe wasted filmguard on a body part that was framing Attack Of The Obnoxious Pixels from Lucasfilm, who obviously don't know their shit don't stink like the opinions that some people Randomly Spew Out as if they Know what they were talking about going on vacation to the moon to visit with one eyed creatures that finish sentences. It begins again with The Joke Did you hear how a man with a large xenon shoved it where the sun could not penetrate except when he got deep enough to discover some dangerously explosive volatile Hydrogen gas bubbles brewing far back in the deep dark scary hole known as Steve's smooth sailing ship "The Mist Change-over". Alice, while Matthew struck the Carbons in the Ashcraft, poured herself a Nice Tasty Beverage of Lavezzi oil for the licking of an excellent night in bed with her pet The pet was warm and fuzzy and very chipper in Maars stomach especially since he didn't realize that the pet had Just took a flea and tick dip and tastes like the backside of a mule dozing in the third balcony of a movie palace. Alice absentmindedly stroked Ken's xenon bulb and suddenly realized she needed "protection". so she went to the booth to grab the xenon's protective clamshell but she found what looked like a great big space helmet. "What the hell is going to be put in place over her head now that the lamphouse won't fit into the narrow multiplex booth? How will she strike the explosive lamp without causing Ken great pain and agony up his spine and down In Beverly Hills where it happened to be the evening of the Academy Awards, where Halle loses it and Cry's forever about her nose job and the way that she had to fake the sex scenes with Angelina's spouse. Not to mention Lilo and Stitch-------

What will become of Ken's Xenon? Will Alice find its brightness satisfactory? Will Steve's smooth sailing ship ever leave the port? Find out as the saga continues...

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there will be Episode III, the same old crap. Who said that? "Into the Dream" it's name shall forever be called Rosebud, the wonderful Wizard Of Oz if ever a wiz there was the wizard of Pandora's box of smelly old treasures what a stink was raised when I phoned TES to say "thanks" and they said we really care about ourselves, but how can we continue ty service to companies who don't take it with large fries. Eat your heart out, Jimmy Dean. five and ten cent store. Drink but don't drive you might spill your digital drink on your new xenon lamp and it turned into a ball of furry hamster hair that would choke the living crap out of a Weenie man named at a later date and showtime. He is a Scooby-Doo lookalike with a mean looking green scratch across the bottom of a woman's heinie that extends from coast to coast. Meanwhile, back at Film-Tech Headquarter's Brad was thinking of commiting his most daring act: Stopping this thread, saving film-techers from the ultimate death by lack of complete English sentences in pig latin. There's a solution! Brad said. I can't take this joke any longer so stick it up your butt. Meanwhile, at Lucus's Ranch, George told his personal projectionist to focus on The big pixels so they would more clearly distinguish the outline of
the Dark Side of Anakin's face. May the force stun Lucasfilm's progress into the crapper. Speaking of crappers, Thomas Crapper invented phantasamagoric lavatory jocularity when he accidentally farted with great musical notes, but was off key Largo fishing for Sharks waiting for a visit from your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, who does whatever a spider may do to a Lady named little Miss
Ivanna Humpalot, who indulges in humping and pumping seasick the oil from way deep inside my deep cavernous sweet tooth, then my dentist said open wide you So I can slip my tool out of it's Death Like grip and insert it Where Kens xenon Bulb has been jammed since the protective covering was Sucked up by a big nasty Fat Bastard who works for the heartless company that produced the movie "Titanic." But still, cant keep afloat. Hello ocean bottom where's the beef flavored Coca-Cola for throwing at screens? This topic's flamin'! not be so critical when the words don't fit into the scheme. Now, let's Polka! Five more posts, then Brad will. This is two sentences scrambled up like eggs and Filmguard tasting topping guess thats it?

Once upon a time, Ken's xenon was too SMALL To play with So he went up to the deep sky then said "what the world needs now is better movies because my DLP is running "Freddy Got Fingered and you can't see no steenkin pixels! Wait, no I forgot to change the projection lens Those pixels are obnoxious as hell! What is Lucas going to do when all the projectionists decide to place pb&j sandwhiches down their pants in an attempt to keep them nuts ...chunky style soup helps to make sure that you don't accidentally miss the changeover or worse yet, touch your xenon on the bulb. Because that would blow it up and create a real loud BOOM! It would also make Manny say "Hey, let's be careful out there gosh darn ya!" So if I change into my bulb changing clothes that I keep on top of my dragqueen clothes I Just Might put on makeup what the heck my best dress tuxedo is now at the cleaners Oh what will my friends think when I say "This one time I'm going to place my xenon on top of my blue car and go to the manager's office I'll demand that the cyan dye isn't water-soluble, but drink it with gin and Filmguard on the rocks only to discover that Joe wasted filmguard on a body part that was framing Attack Of The Obnoxious Pixels from Lucasfilm, who obviously don't know their shit don't stink like the opinions that some people Randomly Spew Out as if they Know what they were talking about going on vacation to the moon to visit with one eyed creatures that finish sentences. It begins again with The Joke Did you hear how a man with a large xenon shoved it where the sun could not penetrate except when he got deep enough to discover some dangerously explosive volatile Hydrogen gas bubbles brewing far back in the deep dark scary hole known as Steve's smooth sailing ship "The Mist Change-over". Alice, while Matthew struck the Carbons in the Ashcraft, poured herself a Nice Tasty Beverage of Lavezzi oil for the licking of an excellent night in bed with her pet The pet was warm and fuzzy and very chipper in Maars stomach especially since he didn't realize that the pet had Just took a flea and tick dip and tastes like the backside of a mule dozing in the third balcony of a movie palace. Alice absentmindedly stroked Ken's xenon bulb and suddenly realized she needed "protection". so she went to the booth to grab the xenon's protective clamshell but she found what looked like a great big space helmet. "What the hell is going to be put in place over her head now that the lamphouse won't fit into the narrow multiplex booth? How will she strike the explosive lamp without causing Ken great pain and agony up his spine and down In Beverly Hills where it happened to be the evening of the Academy Awards, where Halle loses it and Cry's forever about her nose job and the way that she had to fake the sex scenes with Angelina's spouse. Not to mention Lilo and Stitch who also had Billy Bob Thornton's Doctor ,Lawyer and florist, proctologist, and professional Xenon Handler analized by a Phycotic gynocoligist in exactly one minute! Amazingly, nobody thought to ask whether the big platypus came from Oz with the Xenon, or if it really came from Bulbs R Us? Later that day, a horrifying explosion made somebody say "What was that..." a wood-duck or a weenie bursting? Actually, I think that it was Lilo and Stitch dying I hope. Amazingly, Ken's xenon survived the blast and Brad grabbed a bottle of Funky Cold Medina and applied it scratchy old PTR makes my heart shaped head hurt. Alice returned with a bad case of the cramps. The next day Ken noticed his friend's bulb was blue and grey but he ate a bad case of the crabs Paul's dog "Poopers" pooped on Ken's new Nike sneakers and that caused slip and slide away. But KODACHROME around a chocolate dipped xenon cured at 500 degrees covered with sprinkles and a cherry! So we took the tasty treat and safety equipment with every intention and swallowed it stomach cramps soon created a bubble that floated up and tore open the head of Rachel's delicious gerbil --the one that created a furball for Richard Gere? No, it was only a shanty that fell when the cat died. But sick puppies would not stop and watch the furball run down into the audience and eat popcorn also munching carpet and eating weenies! Watch out, Paul, those weenies aren't sturdy enough to support a Christie xenon bulb without proper protection. Alice should switch the light off because all the pixies were afraid of all the pixels that George made! Pixels were outnumbered ten to one by the pixies Just then BANG it fell over and exploded into thousands of pieces! End of story? Never ending story Part Two: Xenons Attack of the Third Kind. With Rod Carbon and Dolph Lungrin as the Terrible Tribble brothers. It began in the small barrel of a thirty aught six when Tony Tribble asked Rod Carbon if Harrison DeLens would be joining for a three-some in the back of screen number seven which was showing Ben Hur (Swedish porno version) with Sanskrit subtitles and naked people in the balcony, with very big tubs of hot greasy and hairy Fried Georgia Peaches which is an other way of Satisfying freaky urges of running naked in front of twenty badly tempered (God forgive me) Politically correct students who sadly enjoyed smelling the two looking for Harrison, Otto Fokas and anyone else who you mention to film-tech members Who happen to attempt to follow the teachings of Travolta and Cruise who we all know aren't the WORST actors in Hollywood crap movies jumped up and a reel flew and smacked me with a wet gooey slimey wad reel nose cachu. Achoo! God Bless Australia. Thank God I was wearing my face shield just in case that slimy wad flew towards me like that reel from "Technicolor" hell where "integrity inspected" obviously means nothing so pack up your trunk, Buckoroo bonzai, we're going to the eighth dimension, where the spin gets faster before technicolor is bought by Pixel Geaorge the DLP apologist's apologist. But before that there will be Episode III, the same old crap. Who said that? "Into the Dream" it's name shall forever be called Rosebud, the wonderful Wizard Of Oz if ever a wiz there was the wizard of Pandora's box of smelly old treasures what a stink was raised when I phoned TES to say "thanks" and they said we really care about ourselves, but how can we continue ty service to companies who don't take it with large fries. Eat your heart out, Jimmy Dean. five and ten cent store. Drink but don't drive you might spill your digital drink on your new xenon lamp and it turned into a ball of furry hamster hair that would choke the living crap out of a Weenie man named at a later date and showtime. He is a Scooby-Doo lookalike with a mean looking green scratch across the bottom of a woman's heinie that extends from coast to coast. Meanwhile, back at Film-Tech Headquarter's Brad was thinking of commiting his most daring act: Stopping this thread, saving film-techers from the ultimate death by lack of complete English sentences in pig latin. There's a solution! Brad said. I can't take this joke any longer so stick it up your butt. Meanwhile, at Lucus's Ranch, George told his personal projectionist to focus on The big pixels so they would more clearly distinguish the outline of
the Dark Side of Anakin's face. May the force stun Lucasfilm's progress into the crapper. Speaking of crappers, Thomas Crapper invented phantasamagoric lavatory jocularity when he accidentally farted with great musical notes, but was off key Largo fishing for Sharks waiting for a visit from your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, who does whatever a spider may do to a Lady named little Miss
Ivanna Humpalot, who indulges in humping and pumping seasick the oil from way deep inside my deep cavernous sweet tooth, then my dentist said open wide you So I can slip my tool out of it's Death Like grip and insert it Where Kens xenon Bulb has been jammed since the protective covering was Sucked up by a big nasty Fat Bastard who works for the heartless company that produced the movie "Titanic." But still, cant keep afloat. Hello ocean bottom where's the beef flavored Coca-Cola for throwing at screens? This topic's flamin'! not be so critical when the words don't fit into the scheme. Now, let's Polka! Five more posts, then Brad will. This is two sentences scrambled up like eggs and Filmguard tasting topping guess thats it?

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ARRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............!

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