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Author Topic: "Super-Size Your Coffin, Sir?" Gerard S. Cohen Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 975 From: Forest Hills, NY, USA Registered: Sep 2001 posted 09-30-2003 04:54 PM                     On the Final Journey, One Size Doesn't Fit All By WARREN ST. JOHN Perhaps nowhere is the issue of obesity in America more vividly illustrated than at Goliath Casket of Lynn, Ind., specialty manufacturers of oversize coffins. There one can see a triple-wide coffin — 44 inches across, compared with 24 inches for a standard model. With extra bracing, reinforced hinges and handles, the triple-wide is designed to handle 700 pounds without losing what the euphemism-happy funeral industry calls its "integrity." When Keith and Julane Davis started Goliath Casket in the late 1980's, they sold just one triple-wide each year. But times, along with waistlines, have changed; the Davises now ship four or five triple-wide models a month, and sales at the company have been increasing around 20 percent annually. The Davises say they base their design specifications not on demographic studies so much as on simple observations of the world around them. "It's just going to local restaurants or walking in a normal Wal-Mart," Mrs. Davis said. "People are getting wider and they're getting thicker." Like the airline industry, which was warned in May that passengers were heavier than they used to be, and was asked to adjust weight estimates accordingly, the funeral industry is retooling to make room for ever-larger Americans. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 20 percent of American adults are obese, up from 12.5 percent in 1991. Of those 70 and older — the demographic that most interests the funeral industry — 17 percent are obese. Despite the numbers, nearly every aspect of the funeral industry, from the size of coffins to vaults, graves, hearses and even the standardized scoop on the front-end loaders that cemeteries use for grave-digging (it is called a "grave bucket") is based on outdated estimates about individual size. "Many people in this country no longer fit in the standard-size casket," said David A. Hazelett, the president of Astral Industries, a coffin builder in Indiana. "The standard-size casket is meant to go in the standard-size vault, and the standard-size vault is meant to go into the standard-size cemetery plot. Everyone in the industry is aware of the problem." [Continued at http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/28/national/28FUNE.html ] Seasonal thoughts for Halloween... Gerard  |  IP: Logged Paul G. Thompson The Weenie Man Posts: 4718 From: Mount Vernon WA USA Registered: Nov 2000 posted 09-30-2003 10:27 PM                     I sometimes joke around around with a manager at a Safeway store. I tell him to make the aisles wider. When you get some fat <cough> person with a rear end about 44 inches wide (NOT circumference) it is impossible to get by them. When you look what is in there shopping carts, well.....then you will know why they have 44-inch wide butts.  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 09-30-2003 10:58 PM                     Subtitle this thread: "How to shovel ten pounds of shit into a five pound bag!" An aunt of mine was 300+ pounds when she died. She was only five feet-something tall. I'm talking "fat lady in a side show" fat! I didn't really want to go to the funeral. I did out of family respect. The other reason I went was because we needed extra strength pallbearers. Instead of the usual six we had eight... All strapping-strong guys. After the church service the funeral director cleared the sanctuary while they literally "shoehorned" her into the casket in order to close the lid. Everybody was allowed back in for final respects with the casket closed then we humped Anunt Janet up onto a wheeled gurney to be rolled out to the hearse. The hardest part was getting her down the steps and into the hearse. It was only 15-20 feet but it was really hard to be dignified when 8 guys had to lift... 1-2-3-HUP!... in sync with each other. Honestly, the weight wasn't THAT awfully bad but we had extra guys to prevent any "accidents". The burial was private. Only the family, the minister, the funeral director and a crane operator attended. They had to sling the casket under the arm of a backhoe. The main problem is that it's hard to balance out how much I care about my relatives with how bad I feel about the logistics associated with managing such a "large" task. The funeral was several years ago but I still get bothered by it, even to this day. I guess the moral of the story is that I have yet another reason to stay healthy and keep my weight down to reasonable levels. Just think about the poor relatives who are going to have to hump my fat ass to the cemetary! "1-2-3-HUP! <GROAN!>  |  IP: Logged Gracia L. Babbidge Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 709 From: Bowdoin, Maine Registered: Aug 2000 posted 09-30-2003 11:46 PM                        hmm... this thread makes me recall an episode of Six Feet Under ... and anyone who watched enough of the third season of the show will probably recall which episode! For those not-in-the-know ... the casket containing a large individual tipped over in the middle of the night, causing the resident apprentice -a Brad look-alike!- to have to enlist the help of two slender women (mother and daughter), and the skinny boyfriend of the daughter... Lots of strain and struggle. And after seeing that episode, it gave me one other reason to want to be a healthy person!  |  IP: Logged Mike Olpin Chop Chop! Posts: 1852 From: Dallas, TX Registered: Jan 2002 posted 10-01-2003 01:50 AM                     quote: Randy said: Just think about the poor relatives who are going to have to hump my fat ass AGHHHHH! BAD IMAGES! BAD THOUGHTS! OUT OF MY HEAD! OUT I SAY!  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 10-01-2003 10:52 AM                     Lug?? Haul?? Schlepp?? You're a sick bastard! (I like that! )  |  IP: Logged Dave Williams Wet nipple scene Posts: 1836 From: Salt Lake City, UT, USA Registered: Jan 2000 posted 10-01-2003 05:42 PM                        quote: the casket containing a large individual tipped over in the middle of the night, causing the resident apprentice -a Brad look-alike!- It ISN'T Brad? I could have sworn I saw his name in the credits! Dave  |  IP: Logged Steven Privett Expert Film Handler Posts: 208 From: Pasadena, TX, USA Registered: Dec 2000 posted 10-02-2003 02:36 PM                    [ 10-03-2003, 03:01 PM: Message edited by: Steven Privett ]  |  IP: Logged William Hooper Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1879 From: Mobile, AL USA Registered: Jun 99 posted 10-03-2003 01:19 AM                        quote: Do they charge extra for cremation? Gas isn't free ya know I did NOT need to get a mental image of those huge propane barbecue rigs they pull out at football game parking lot tailgate parties.  |  IP: Logged

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