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» Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE   » Community   » Film-Yak   » Too easy to change a tire. (Page 1)

 
This topic comprises 2 pages: 1  2   
Author Topic: Too easy to change a tire.
Scott D. Neff
Theatre Dork

Posts: 919
From: San Francisco, CA
Registered: Oct 1999

- posted 01-04-2004 04:31 PM      Profile for Scott D. Neff   Author's Homepage   Email Scott D. Neff   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
There are those of us that can take apart an engine with a blindfold on and rebuild it all the while juggling 25 casaba melons and playing "Stars and Stripes Forever" on your tuba.

Then there are those of us that know enough to change oil, air filters, MAYBE some plugs and wires.

And then theres me: If I've seen it in a movie, I can do it. Which is really why the only thing I know how to do to my car is change a flat tire and I must say. It's just too easy. It's almost so easy I'm expecting to drive out of my garage and go down to check the air pressure at the local gas station, and not only will the (full sized) spare fly off, the other three tires are going to go with it and decapitate a bus full of school children.

They really need to make it harder, with some sort of video game "Mission Accomplished" bell that rings so I know I did it absolutely 100% correct.

Wish me luck -- I'm gonna go pull out now. And then drive 20 miles to return a keg of beer from my New Years Eve party.

[uhoh] and well... I suppose... [beer]

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Brad Miller
Administrator

Posts: 17775
From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall)
Registered: May 99

- posted 01-04-2004 04:50 PM      Profile for Brad Miller   Author's Homepage   Email Brad Miller       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
If I've seen it in a movie, I can do it.
Wow, you mean I could hand you a laptop and have you shut down alien communications? You can fly? You can singlehandedly take us to Defcon 1, outsmart dinosaurs, and blow up the death star?

I'm not even going to think about what you may have seen in porn films!

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Bobby Henderson
"Ask me about Trajan."

Posts: 10973
From: Lawton, OK, USA
Registered: Apr 2001

- posted 01-04-2004 05:47 PM      Profile for Bobby Henderson   Email Bobby Henderson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yeah, I wish I could just rattle gibberish into the keyboard and instantly make the computer do something that in reality took a team of computer effects guys weeks to render.

I laugh at that scene in "Star Trek IV" where Scotty sits in front of a tiny classic Mac to invent transparent aluminum. First he speaks into the mouse, "computer?" The Navy guy says, "you have to use the keyboard." Scotty replies, "oh how quaint." Then he just rattles a bunch of keys and pow it's done. Hmm. What program was loaded on the itty bitty Mac to allow him to do that so fast??? Most desktop PCs and Macs I've seen in military installations only feature word processors, spreadsheet apps and Powerpoint (arrgh! I hate getting those .PPT files for art jobs, they're useless --need vector art only! Opps! Different rant!).

Don't even get me started on the nearly two hours of inaccurate computer use bullshit as seen in the movie "Swordfish."

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Chris Hipp
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1462
From: Mesquite, Tx (east of Dallas)
Registered: Jul 2003

- posted 01-04-2004 06:00 PM      Profile for Chris Hipp   Email Chris Hipp   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just make sure before you have to change a tire on the side of the road that the jack under the hood is tall enough to lift the car. I had a flat a few months ago and no matter where I put the jack it wouldnt work, so I had to walk 2 miles to work to get some 2x4's and then 2 miles back.

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Tim Reed
Better Projection Pays

Posts: 5246
From: Northampton, PA
Registered: Sep 1999

- posted 01-04-2004 06:02 PM      Profile for Tim Reed   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
I'm not even going to think about what you may have seen in porn films!
BrWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! [Big Grin]

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Mike Olpin
Chop Chop!

Posts: 1852
From: Dallas, TX
Registered: Jan 2002

- posted 01-04-2004 07:05 PM      Profile for Mike Olpin   Email Mike Olpin   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
A city bus careens down the street at 72 miles per hour filled with rush hour commuters. The bus driver shrieks franticly over the radio, "Help! Can anyone hear us? Theres a bomb on board and it will explode if we go under 50!"

Then, without warning, the driver-side rear tires blow out! Blam!

WHAT will they do?
WHO will save them?

Suddenly, in his brand new corvette, Super Scott Neff races up along side them!
"I'll save you!" he says courageously as pulls out his giant jack-on-wheels, "I saw this in a movie once!" Carefully he places the jack-on-wheels underneath the bus, hoisting the rims while keeping the bus just a few ticks above 50. Everybody holds there breath as he deftly changes the tire. But does he stop there? No! He pulls Jeff Golblum's alien thwarting PowerBook 5300c. "The bomb is computer controlled! I'll upload a virus into the bomb, rendering it useless."

But then, halfway through the upload, a shadow blocks out the sun. Scott turns around to see a giant tidal wave. The passenger side tires blows out, the needle is squarely on 50, and Scott is smiling.

He knows exactly what to do.

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Phil Hill
I love my cootie bug

Posts: 7595
From: Hollywood, CA USA
Registered: Mar 2000

- posted 01-04-2004 07:21 PM      Profile for Phil Hill   Email Phil Hill       Edit/Delete Post 
I agree, changing a tire is super-easy.

The problem is figuring out how to work those f*cking new-fangled jacks! [fu]

>>> Phil

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Ian Price
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1714
From: Denver, CO
Registered: Jun 99

- posted 01-04-2004 07:47 PM      Profile for Ian Price   Email Ian Price   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Scott was just here.

He brought me a sandwich. [thumbsup]

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Joe Redifer
You need a beating today

Posts: 12859
From: Denver, Colorado
Registered: May 99

- posted 01-04-2004 09:46 PM      Profile for Joe Redifer   Author's Homepage   Email Joe Redifer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I agree, changing a tire is just too freakin' easy. You get a flat and change it out, and suddenly you're back on the road in no time! What's up with that? It should be ridiculously difficult. The whole experience should be nightmarish. There is no justice in the world!

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Gordon McLeod
Film God

Posts: 9532
From: Toronto Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 99

- posted 01-04-2004 10:14 PM      Profile for Gordon McLeod   Email Gordon McLeod   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Even easier with a critoen that has the hyrdralics that lift a wheel off the ground for you

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Dave Williams
Wet nipple scene

Posts: 1836
From: Salt Lake City, UT, USA
Registered: Jan 2000

- posted 01-04-2004 10:32 PM      Profile for Dave Williams   Author's Homepage   Email Dave Williams   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
I laugh at that scene in "Star Trek IV" where Scotty sits in front of a tiny classic Mac to invent transparent aluminum. First he speaks into the mouse, "computer?" The Navy guy says, "you have to use the keyboard." Scotty replies, "oh how quaint." Then he just rattles a bunch of keys and pow it's done. Hmm. What program was loaded on the itty bitty Mac to allow him to do that so fast??? Most desktop PCs and Macs I've seen in military installations only feature word processors, spreadsheet apps and Powerpoint (arrgh! I hate getting those .PPT files for art jobs, they're useless --need vector art only! Opps! Different rant!).

Don't even get me started on the nearly two hours of inaccurate computer use bullshit as seen in the movie "Swordfish."
Does anyone ever just "watch" movies anymore? Or are we just looking for technical inaccuracies. You also failed to point out that in star trek 4 they were also traveling back in time in a ship from a planet called kronos with an alien on board with funny ears. None of that seemed very accurate to me at all! [evil]

The whole point of science fiction and fantasy is just that... It isn't real, and gives us a chance to just veg out from reality and get entertained with a "what if it were possible" story.

Which goes to show you that changing a tire is easier than it is in the movies. I had a blow out on my tire just three days ago as it started to snow. I had it changed in seven minutes. Of course I have a four ton capacity quick pump oil hydraulic jack that gets the car up in two seconds, and a breaker bar for the lug nuts that removes them in about a minute. The real hard part was getting that damned spare tire loose from its compartment. That took four minutes!

Is there any real point to this at all or are we just yappin for the sake of yappin?

Dave

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Bobby Henderson
"Ask me about Trajan."

Posts: 10973
From: Lawton, OK, USA
Registered: Apr 2001

- posted 01-04-2004 11:09 PM      Profile for Bobby Henderson   Email Bobby Henderson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
Does anyone ever just "watch" movies anymore? Or are we just looking for technical inaccuracies.
Presenting certain real world things accurately helps suspend disbelief, thus making the story seem more plausible.

I really hate the computer inaccuracies, such as the famous computer keyboard gibberish rule. I deal with computer graphics in my job and none of it is ever instantaneous the way movies make it appear. On occaision I have to deal with computer-illiterate customers who think all it takes is a couple keyboard clicks to spit out a design. There's a lot more to it than that.

The movie industry pays a good amount of money to a wide variety of technical advisors to get things right (military, police, firemen, doctors, lawyers and more). I really wonder if any movie people bother to hire computer experts to get that aspect right.

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Manny Knowles
"What are these things and WHY are they BLUE???"

Posts: 4247
From: Bloomington, IN, USA
Registered: Feb 2002

- posted 01-04-2004 11:31 PM      Profile for Manny Knowles   Email Manny Knowles   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
About the "inaccuracies" in TREK IV...it seems ridiculous to quibble over those kinds of things when so many of the more fundamental plot points require an even greater degree of suspension of disbelief.

I'm either along for the ride or I'm not. If the movie is working for me, I can ignore or forgive a lot. If it's not working for me then I'm inclined to be more critical and less forgiving. True, on some occasions there were so many "little things" that the scales eventually tipped and the movie stopped working but this is not the case with TREK IV -- arguably the 2nd best film in the series.

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David Favel
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 764
From: Ashburton, New Zealand
Registered: Feb 2002

- posted 01-04-2004 11:58 PM      Profile for David Favel   Email David Favel   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My daughter is about to buy her first car. She will not go anywhere till she has changed a tyre, & other basic stuff. Common sense really.

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Bobby Henderson
"Ask me about Trajan."

Posts: 10973
From: Lawton, OK, USA
Registered: Apr 2001

- posted 01-05-2004 12:19 AM      Profile for Bobby Henderson   Email Bobby Henderson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Sure, "Star Trek IV" was one of the best installments of that series. Still, the scene I described is pretty loopy. I don't mean for it to sound like I am singling out that movie alone. There's a limitless supply of movies and TV shows that commit the same error to this day (tune into any episode of the popular TV series "24" to see computer inaccuracies like that). Many of the shows are still good, but the misrepresentation of how computers work is still aggravating.

I really don't like dealing with the fallout of it in my own workplace. When a customer expects me to just rattle a few keys to instantly spit out a graphics layout I'm put in a tricky dilema. It's not the easiest thing to tell such customers that graphic design takes time without appearing incompetent. Anyone who relies on computers heavily for their job should rightly feel a bit frustrated when the filmmakers go on cliched auto-pilot when it comes to dealing with computers in the storyline.

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