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Author Topic: Movie Titles on Print Tails Ian Price Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1714 From: Denver, CO Registered: Jun 99 posted 01-25-2004 01:35 PM                     I have noticed in my 20-years in the business that given a chance, projectionists will put a funny title on the tail of the film in their booth. I run an Art Cinema so some of my titles will be a little obscure. My Big Fat Gay Italian Wedding = Mambo Italiano Say What = Lost in Translation The Lounging Dick = Singing Detective Eat at Subway = 21 Grams (Joke the staff told that 21 Grams is the amount of fat in 3 Subway low fat sandwiches.) The Ruined Dress = The Human Stain The Revolution will not be televised but we will charge you $9 to see it Casserole de Baby = Casa de los Babies There she Blows = A Mighty Wind Anything but this Movie = Anything but Love 2 Ass Tango = Assassination Tango 2 Hours out of my Life = Out of Time Real World Spain = L’Auberge Espanol East Butter Knife = North Fork Bisquick = Seabiscuit Battered Clams = Shattered Glass The Penis…t = The Pianist What were some of the ones you have come up with?  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 01-25-2004 02:08 PM                     Trouser Snake = Anaconda Or simply add, "...In my pants", to the end of any movie title: Titanic... In my pants. etc., etc., etc...  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-25-2004 02:50 PM                       We did this usually on movies we didn't like or were tired of playing over and over (it was a repertory house). From my days as a projectionist, I can recall labelling reels with: Casablanka Koyaaniwhatsis The Old Grey Fart Queerelle Harold and Mud Raiders of the Lost Arc The Song Remains THE SAME! Adam's Tit The Rocky Whore Picture Show Let it Go (Let it Be) Flush Gordon  |  IP: Logged Manny Knowles "What are these things and WHY are they BLUE???" Posts: 4247 From: Bloomington, IN, USA Registered: Feb 2002 posted 01-25-2004 06:38 PM                     An Orifice and a Genital  |  IP: Logged Steve Kraus Film God Posts: 4094 From: Chicago, IL, USA Registered: May 2000 posted 01-25-2004 10:35 PM                    Back in my post house days we did many press screenings of "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" so started referring to it as "The Unbearable Length of this Movie."  |  IP: Logged Joe Redifer You need a beating today Posts: 12859 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: May 99 posted 01-25-2004 10:40 PM                        Oh c'mon Ian! Can't you remember some of the creative titles we came up with at Greenwood? Me nither. Anyway I usually come up with pretty good ones when I think about it. It's been awhile, though.  |  IP: Logged Mike Blakesley Film God Posts: 12767 From: Forsyth, Montana Registered: Jun 99 posted 01-26-2004 01:35 PM                        Harry Pothead  |  IP: Logged Jesse Skeen Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1517 From: Sacramento, CA Registered: Aug 2000 posted 01-26-2004 05:29 PM                     The English Must Have Lots Of Patience Pearl Harbore My Cat Skip Kirsten Beautiful Dracula's Christmas (for Dracula 2000, which came out the week before Christmas) A Few Good Overpaid Actors Your Worst Enemy's Divorce (direct opposite of My Best Friend's Wedding)  |  IP: Logged Brad Miller Administrator Posts: 17775 From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall) Registered: May 99 posted 01-26-2004 05:29 PM                     Hard to remember some of the older labels. Most of what I can recall are from the last year or so. What A Girl Flaunts (What A Girl Wants) Poke Your Mom (Pokemon) Decor (The Core - must say with Jamacan accent) Butt Pirates of the Caribbean (Pirates of the Caribbean) A Gay Thing (A Guy Thing) Upchuck Girls (Uptown Girls) Once Upon A Time There Was A Really Bad Movie (Once Upon A Time in Mexico) Pigvomit (Piglet) Cold Cuts Manor (Cold Creek Manor) Angry Management (Anger Management) This Movie Is Intolerable Cruelty (Intolerable Cruelty) Shit (Shout)  |  IP: Logged Josh Jones Redhat Posts: 1207 From: Plano, TX Registered: Apr 2000 posted 01-26-2004 06:19 PM                        My God They're Aweful Sisters = Magdeline Sisters Shit Stain = human Stain My Fat Ass Greek Wedding Winnie The Poop Never Famous Thats about all I can think of JJ  |  IP: Logged Phil Hill I love my cootie bug Posts: 7595 From: Hollywood, CA USA Registered: Mar 2000 posted 01-26-2004 07:51 PM                  "Butt Pirates of the Caribbean (Pirates of the Caribbean)" Actually, the "porno" (both gay and straight) rip-offs of the legit titles are really funny! Ummmm... NOT that ***I*** would know about such things... >>> Phil  |  IP: Logged Joe Redifer You need a beating today Posts: 12859 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: May 99 posted 01-26-2004 08:17 PM                        Poke Your Mom (Pokemon) was one of mine. Brad did the splicing work. Oh! Just remembered: The Family has the Runs (It Runs in the Family)  |  IP: Logged Aaron Sisemore Flaming Ribs beat Reeses Peanut Butter Cups any day! Posts: 3061 From: Rockwall TX USA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 01-27-2004 12:19 AM                     I have been doing this since the early 80's- rather than the tail tags we used a piece of taqpe at the sound rack with lens and format/fader info. When I returned to the biz in 1996, it was a sheet of paper stuck to the back of the console. Some from the 80's I can remember off hand: Dumb Asinine Retarded Yucky Lamebrain -D.A.R.Y.L. Bimbo: First Blonde XXXVIII -Rambo: First Blood II Flush Dunce -Flashdance Evasion I.R.S. -Invasion U.S.A. Star Drek... -Star Trek... Daryl Does Disney -Splash The Muppets Waste Manhattan -Muppets Take Manhattan Mr. X-Acto and his friends Colt & Uzi -Terminator I Dolt-A-Farce -Delta Force Nat'l Lampoon's European Fiasco -European Vacation Cokespoon -Cocoon Mind Rape -Mindscape Zombies On Parade -Return Of The Living Dead Sex Spores -Explorers Cremator -Creator Joyless Sex -Joy Of Sex Q.T: The Quasi-Terrestrial/E.T: The Extra Testicle -E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial Kremlins (in radical red Eastmancolor) -Gremlins Star Bores/Star Warts/Star Whores -Star Wars The Umpire Strikes Out -Empire Strikes Back Re-Run of the Jedi -Return Of The Jedi Crapped! -Zapped! ...there were hundreds of them on the walls after a while... From the 90's we had: Truth About Bats and Frogs -Truth about Cats & Dogs Shaq Attaq from Iraq -Kazaam The 'Black' movie from the 'White' Director -The Preacher's Wife enCOURAGE UNDERwear FIREs -the caps say it all Boogity Nights -Boogie Nights Wild Wild Worst -Wild Wild West ...among others and I prefer THIS Pokémon tail myself: -Aaron  |  IP: Logged Brad Miller Administrator Posts: 17775 From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall) Registered: May 99 posted 01-27-2004 04:41 AM                     A few more that came to mind (these moreso along Phil's train of thought): Cock Star (Rock Star) Boning Lisa (Mona Lisa Smile) Monster Balls (Monster's Ball) Servicing Sara (Serving Sara)  |  IP: Logged Gracia L. Babbidge Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 709 From: Bowdoin, Maine Registered: Aug 2000 posted 01-27-2004 09:51 AM                        I wasn't one to alter tails of prints ... but that would have been too much fun. Nor could I place tape on the tail of the print to scribble a new title - as tape on the prints confused the bejesus out of the cue readers. Alternate titles did end up on the loops (made from old trailers) we put around the prints to keep the tails in place. The few that I can remember off-hand: Glad He Ate Her (Gladiator) Annoying Moose And Squirrel (Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle) Britney Sucks! (Crossroads) I'm sure there must have been others, memory is foggy.  |  IP: Logged

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