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This topic comprises 2 pages: 1 2
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Topic: Passion of the Christ Threads
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Thomas Procyk
Phenomenal Film Handler
Posts: 1842
From: Royal Palm Beach, FL, USA
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted 03-07-2004 02:24 PM
Box Office Conjures Revelation: Jesus More Popular Than Toys, Apes...
As the box office estimates for the weekend trickled in, it was obvious: Jesus Christ is scoring mad props. Since The Lord’s popularity began to slip in the mid-1960s, being overshadowed by the British pop group The Beatles, as well as the popularity of mind-expanding drugs and anonymous sex, Jesus’s public appeal declined steadily through the decades. Until now.
Taking in a whopping $51M in its second weekend, pushing its grand total to over $212M, “The Passion of the Christ” has proven that it’s cool to love Jesus again.
“It’s great!” said one moviegoer. “People are really into it. Some said it’s even better than Pirates of the Carribean!”
For that, we’ll have to wait and see. But in the mean time, Jesus has proven to be more popular than many of the other distractions in the world. For instance, Jesus is already more popular than bugs or big cities, beating out “A Bug’s Life” and “Chicago” long ago. Also on the list, not only the President’s plane, but fighter planes as well. (Air Force One, Top Gun.) At this rate, Jesus might even soar past flying carpets. (Alladin.)
There are other things that Jesus’s popularity has surpassed in the past two weeks that Christians are more concerned about, one being Apes.
“It was a sigh of relief when we flew past that ‘Planet of the Apes’ garbage!” said one Christian woman at a local theater. “I mean, to teach that kind of ‘evolution’ blasphemy to millions of people on the big screen is unacceptable!!”
Some even went as far as Children’s films. “When I went to see Toy Story with my son, we left shortly after [it] began.” said a man leaving a ‘Passion’ screening, who wished to remain anonymous. “Toys that move and talk on their own? Clearly the work of Satan. I’m glad a film like [Passion] is teaching our young children what’s right.”
Other Christians expressed confidence that ‘The Passion of the Christ’ will help denounce other Hollywood holy vituperations.
“We only need $7 million more to prove that cross-dressing is wrong!” said a Pastor, referring to the Robin Williams comedy ‘Mrs. Doubtfire.’
“Just $30 Million more!” exclaimed a woman leaving a ‘Passion’ auditorium. “Then we’ll show you that the Lord’s power is not to be taken as a comedy!” She was no doubt referring to what some Christians are calling the highly-blasphemous Jim Carrey romp, ‘Bruce Almighty’ now on DVD. “We will prove that God is certainly not [Morgan Freeman]!!!”
Although the film is highly popular, some skeptics still refuse to see it. “There’s no way I’m going to sit through two hours of that crap!” said a local moviegoer, referring to the subtitles. “I go to watch a movie to watch a movie, not to read a movie.” The film is in Aramaic, Latin, and Hebrew.
Some industry insiders are frustrated over the frenzy. “People are taking this Jesus movie a little too far.” said the manager of a theater who wished not to be identified. “We had this lady completely spazz out at the box office when she heard it was sold out.” He said the woman began to scream and demand that she be allowed to stand in the theater to watch the film. When it was explained that this was not possible, she had a panic attack. “We finally just brought in a bench from the lobby and let [her] in. I don’t know why these people are so [unreasonable]. It’s not like seeing this movie is going to score you brownie points with [The Lord.]”
Only time will tell if the Power of the Passion of the Christ is more Popular than the witchcraft-wielding “Harry Potter,” the false Lord, the “Lord of the Rings,” or the overly-semitic “ET: The Extra Terrestrial.”
=TMP=
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