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Topic: Post your amusing 419 scam emails here

Leo Enticknap
Film God

Posts: 7474
From: Loma Linda, CA
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 11-11-2005 12:24 PM

If you were in any doubt as to whether or not the UN is a dodgy outfit...

quote: 419 email received by Leo
I KOFI ANNAN, secretary-general of the united nations, would like to ask your partnership in reprofilling funds over $250m in excess, the funds would be coming via a string of selected banks in Europe and Asia.

The funds in question were generated by me during the oil for food program in Iraq. I have been getting scandals/ controversy in this regards, you can read more on the links below-

http://www.wsws.org/articles/2005/apr2005/anna-a05.shtml
http://www.canadafreepress.com/2003/main042803.htm

You would be paid 5% as your management fee. please do not write back directly to me via my official email address as all further correspondence should be sent to my private mail box. As soon as you indicate your interest i will give further details, remember to treat this mail and transaction as strictly confidential.
I will wait to get your urgent correspondence via my private mail box-

KOFI ANNAN,
SECRETARY- GENERAL
kofiannan005@walla.com
www.un.org

I wonder how you 'reprofill' something? Is this a job for Emilio Estevez? [Roll Eyes]

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Bobby Henderson
"Ask me about Trajan."

Posts: 10973
From: Lawton, OK, USA
Registered: Apr 2001

posted 11-11-2005 06:42 PM

Hehe. Um... "it burns when I urinate, so can you put up $50,000 in good faith money so I can get treated by a doctor since I am such an irreputable scumbag not even worthy of a bullet to the back of the head? When you provide all your contact details some of my other cohorts just dying to have car batteries attached to their genitals in payment for their sins will get in contact with you."

Okay. Just a random vent on those guys. But seriously, anyone in the know on their whereabouts should recommend a Patriot missile up their wazzoo.

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Leo Enticknap
Film God

Posts: 7474
From: Loma Linda, CA
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 11-12-2005 07:02 AM

Too quick and painless. I'd vote for a soldering iron.

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David Buckley
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 525
From: Oxford, N. Canterbury, New Zealand
Registered: Aug 2004

posted 11-13-2005 09:43 PM

With my inbox at 1050 items I thought it was time for a clearout, and found this atypical example:

From: Mrs Caroline Solange Haafkens of Nederlanden

I am the above named person from Nederlanden. I am married to Dr.Franklyn Haafkens who worked with canada Embassy in nigeria for nine years before he died in the year 2000.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again christians.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of (Four Million six hundred thousand U.S.Dollars)with a bank called commercial bank of africa.

Presently, this money is still with the bank and the management just wrote me as the beneficiary to come forward to receive the money or rather issue a letter of authorisation to somebody to receive it on my behalf if I can not come over.

Presently, I'm with my laptop in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment for cancer of the lungs. I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.

It is my last wish to see this money distributed to charity organizations.
Because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness, I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to
any of them. Please,I beg you in the name of God to help me collect the deposit and the interest accrued from the bank and distribute it accordingly.

I want a person that is God fearing that will use this money to fund churches,orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that Blessed is the hand that giveth.I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money.

My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay
in your reply will give me room in sourcing for another person for this same purpose.

Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein.

Hoping to hearing from you soon.

waiting for your reply
Mrscaroline04@netscape.net

Yours in Christ,

Mrs Caroline Solange Haafkens

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James R. Hammonds, Jr
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 931
From: Houston, TX, USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 11-14-2005 04:08 PM

Here is my favorite parody of one of those.

I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. Don't cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it's not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so I don't ask her that anymore. The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go to sleep.

The doctors gave me an artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was Billy Evansthe best they could do on account of us havin' no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real bad.

I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr. Johansen said if you foward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me better then.

Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you foward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10.

If you don't foward this e-mail, that's OK. Mommy says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that she hopes that you stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach. What kind of wretched person are you that you can't take five lousy minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it's hard. I wish

I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.

Thank You.
Billy 'Smiles' Evans,
The boy with just a head.
And a burlap sack for a body.

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Jason Miller
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 241
From: Little Rock, AR,
Registered: Mar 2004

posted 11-14-2005 10:41 PM

I could end his suffering with a leaf blower. or maybe a lit match....

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System Notices
Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi

Posts: 215

Registered: Apr 2004

posted 01-06-2008 12:21 PM

It has been 782 days since the last post.

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Danny Hart
Film Handler

Posts: 50
From: St Andrews, Scotland
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 01-06-2008 12:21 PM

Sorry to dredge up such an old thread, but I did a search and this is the closest I could find.

www.419eater.com

I've been having a lot of fun with this over the last year - I've had people drive miles to supposedly pick up "processing fees", people send me items of clothing for my fake fashion design company and generally messing with their heads. I've had some great death threats - too graphic to post here. I can't go into too much detail about my own particular antics as this is a real-names forum.

Some people go to more extremes - the guy who runs the site, "Shiver Metimbers", has had them fly all the way to Scotland for nothing, have carvings made of his own head and made them read out hours of audio books.

It's a satisfying hobby - knowing you're wasting these crooks time and money for your amusement.

Join in - but bait safe!

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Tim Reed
Better Projection Pays

Posts: 5246
From: Northampton, PA
Registered: Sep 1999

posted 01-06-2008 05:34 PM

Oh, I love that site! Especially the ruses, "The Road to Nowhere," and "Tale of the Painted Breast" (guy runs off with the church's money to become a clown - classic)! [rofl]

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Leo Enticknap
Film God

Posts: 7474
From: Loma Linda, CA
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 01-06-2008 06:10 PM

quote: Tim Reed
(guy runs off with the church's money to become a clown - classic)!

That's more or less what this bloke did! Admittedly, it was never proven that he actually ran off with the church's money (though if he didn't, that raises the question of how he funded his somewhat, erm, distinctive lifestyle); but he certainly ended up as a clown alright.

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Chris Slycord
Film God

Posts: 2986
From: 퍼항시, 경상푹도, South Korea
Registered: Mar 2007

posted 01-07-2008 12:37 PM

On the first one I saw on that site, the nerd in me likes how he has a fake email being sent to the scammer from "Charles Babbage." If you guys don't know who that is, he was the first to come up with the ideas and schematics for a programmable computer.

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Rick Raskin
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1100
From: Manassas Virginia
Registered: Jan 2003

posted 01-11-2008 05:37 PM

This one came the other day:
*********************************
Dear Friend,

Re: Wealth Acquisition Proposal.

My name is Mr Thum Fook I trained and work as an external auditor for the United Overseas Bank (UOB) of Singapore , working as part of a bigger team that
covers the entire Asian region I had taken pains to find your contact through personal endeavors.

On routine audit check last month, I discovered some investment accounts that had been dormant for the last twelve years All the accounts belong to a single
holder with full names witheld This customer has monies totaling a little above $16.9 million United States Dollars plus interest Banking regulation/legislation in Singapore demand that I notify the fiscal authorities after a statutory time
period of twelve years when dormant accounts of this type are called in by the monetary regulatory bodies The above set of facts underscores my reason of
writing and making the following proposal.

My investigation of the said account reveals that the investor died in 1995 the exact time the account was last operated I can confirm with certainty that the
said investor died interstate and no next of kin to his estate has been found or has come forward all these years I am of the settled conviction that using
my insider leverage, I, working with you can secure the funds in the account for us instead of allowing it pass as unclaimed funds into the coffers of the
Government of Singapore This is especially possible as you bear the same to the said investor.
This exactly is why I crave your participation and co-operation I have seized all relevant documents (legal and Banking) that will facilitate our putting
you forward as the claimant/beneficiary of the funds and ultimately transfer the money to any account nominated by you Of course you shall be handsomely
rewarded for your part in this transaction as the people I am working with are prepared to allocate a 20% slice of the total funds for your efforts, less
any expenses I shall however leave out the finer details of this transaction till I receive an affirmation of your desire to participate.

Be assured that my colleagues and I are on top of the situation all the time and there will be no risk whatsoever if you agree to come on board Needless to
say, UTMOST CONFIDENTIALITY is of vital importance if we are to successfully reap the immense benefits of this transaction To maintain the level of security required to see this transaction come to a successful conclusion, I have
intentionally left out the finer details To affirm your willingness and co-operation to my proposal please do so by emailing the following
details to me via Secured Email:mr.thumfook@yahoo.com.sg

Full name:-
Postal address:-
Cell Phone No:-
Work Phone No:-
Age:-
Occupation:-
Annual Income:-
Alternate Email Address:-

I do expect you prompt response.

Regards,

Mr.Thum Fook.

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Hillary Charles
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 748
From: York, PA, USA
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 01-12-2008 05:55 PM

Thum Fook?

Doesn't that belong on the list referring to a particular hand gesture discussed in another thread? [Big Grin]

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Rick Raskin
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1100
From: Manassas Virginia
Registered: Jan 2003

posted 01-13-2008 08:41 AM

Right on. Replace Thum with Dumb.

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