my profile | my password | search | faq & rules | forum home

» Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE   » Community   » Film-Yak   » TSA security hilarity (Page 1)

This topic comprises 4 pages: 1  2  3  4

Author Topic: TSA security hilarity Mike Heenan Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1896 From: Scottsdale, AZ, USA Registered: Mar 2000 posted 12-07-2005 10:32 PM                     Some guy posted a recent experience with the TSA security folks on a travel site I check out every now and then, pretty funny story. I had a frayed bootlace so seeing that the removal of shoes is optional I decided to not remove them. Upon doing so I was told I was "Code Three" and when they mentioned I was "code three" they smiled and laughed. I then was directed to the bomb sniffing booth where air was puffed over me and I was cleared. The TSA drones then made me sit down and have the metal dectector run over me, my shoe eyelets set off the alarm. TSA Drone: "You will have to remove your shoes to be X Rayed" Me: " I Thought that was optional" TSA Drone: "When you set off the metal detector we can make you remove your shoes" Me: "Where does it say that? I'd like to see that in writing please" TSA Drone: "Would you like to speak to my supervisor" Me: "Yes." TSA Drone: "Why won't you remove your shoes?" Me: "I didn't want my frayed shoelaces to break and walk around two airports and a subway station and walk home without laces...You understand that, right?" TSA Drone: "Yes sir" (supervisor arrives) TSA Honcho: "What seems to be the problem?" ME: "Is your bomb sniffing booth working?" TSA Honcho: "Yes" Me: "So why do I have to take off my shoes when it is the eyelets that set it off?" TSA Honcho: "We reserve the right to ask people to remove their shoes" Me: " I thought it was optional" TSA Honcho: "It is" me: "But you just said I had to remove them after I got frisked and sniffed" TSA Honcho: "Yes, but we can ask you to remove your shoes" Me: "So I refuse to remove my shoes, you search me more thoroughly and in your search determine that my shoes need removal. It appears that this is a punitive search and you are showing me that I have to remove my shoes no matter what, even though I have been more cleared than the other passengers that instantly removed their shoes." TSA Honcho: "We are not punishing you sir" Me: "You can see how I would think that?" TSA Honcho: "Yes sir..you can find out all this at www.tsa.gov" Me: "Where , in this line , does it recomend that I check that website before deciding to keep my shoes on?" TSA Honcho: "No where" Me: So removing shoes is not really optional? TSA Honcho: "No sir" Me: "But people are told it is optional and not told where to check to find out that it really is not..is that correct?" TSA Honcho: "Yes sir" So I removed my shoes, they came back clear and I broke my shoelace while lacing them up. I asked if I could go and they said yes. Oddly they forgot to search my coat and carry on bag during all of this.  |  IP: Logged Richard Hamilton Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1341 From: Evansville, Indiana Registered: Jan 2000 posted 12-08-2005 02:12 AM                     TSA sucks ass. I had a bag that I put a TSA approved lock on. Only they have the key. When I got home my New digital camera and webcam and other things were missing, and the bag was still locked. About 600 dollars of stuff. I called and complained about it, told them that it was obviously one of their employees. I haven't seen or heard any thing since then. F**k them. I have too many stories about TSA dealings, they can kiss my ass. One time I was traveling with my kids and (ex)wife. We had a stroller, and they said we could go first. So we hand our tickets.....no-one else is in line, and they pull me aside to search me. I told them they have to be fucking kidding! For at least 5 minutes, i have to put up with some stupid bitches bullshit, while my (ex) wife had to board the plane with our 2 young kids. Sorry for the rant, but as an frequent traveler, I dont see the good with TSA. Maybe I just havent read the headlines where TSA makes a bust? I only see where they confiscate fingernail cutters, but at the same time they let you board with knitting needles(my daughter was allowed to bring them on board)  |  IP: Logged Louis Bornwasser Film God Posts: 4441 From: prospect ky usa Registered: Mar 2005 posted 12-08-2005 07:02 AM                        Small people with "a lot" of authority can test even the best of us. This is not going to get better. Can you imagine the challenge of hiring intelligent people when they are asked to then become TSA agents? Obviously this is not happening. Another good reason to fly yourself (or at least drive). These situations are killing the airline industry. Can you imagine what would happen in our industry if they used metal detectors, bomb sniffing dogs, frisking, anf then FORCED people to watch TV ads on our screens before allowing them to see the movie they paid for? Louis  |  IP: Logged Richard Hamilton Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1341 From: Evansville, Indiana Registered: Jan 2000 posted 12-08-2005 08:17 AM                     Shortly after 9/11 I had to fly from Florida to California to test a new design for the Megasystems 8/70 projector. It was just an overnight trip, so I only had my carry on bag. I threw two 5/70 - 35 mm sprockets that were mounted on shafts into my bag.(heavily protected with bubblewrap). I went through security, no problem, but some TSA bitch came running over and asked me to unpack my bags again. They had already looked at them, and I explained what they were. This bitch unwraps both of them and holds them in her hands by the shafts, she says these could be weapons, AND STARTS BANGING THE SPROCKETS TOGETHER! I instinctively yell very loudly at her and it got real quiet at the "security" post. Her superviser immediately came over as I was loudly telling this woman that she probably has to cover a couple thousand dollars in expenses for the damage she just did. Not only the parts, but I said if they are damaged, I cannot go to my customer, so there are lost wages and airline fees, and my pay. And I try to explain the reason for the 5 layers of Bubblewrap around each one. Stupid bitch! I am lucky I did not get arrested, but I have no respect for those guys. It would be different if they knew what they were doing. I feel less safe flying than I did before. Fuck em!!! I'm not bitter  |  IP: Logged Jason M Miller Master Film Handler Posts: 284 From: Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA Registered: Jul 2004 posted 12-08-2005 09:22 AM                     yea TSA Sucks.....I used to work at the airport with an airline, sure we could go out side and stand right next to a plane but if we tried to cross a security check point we still had to get screened, even if we had our security badges on. Also just a tip do not make the person mad that checks you in for your flight, they can put you on the special screening list so you are taken off to the side. To tell if you are on this list there will be 4 S's on your boarding card..  |  IP: Logged Mike Spaeth Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1129 From: Marietta, GA Registered: Jul 2000 posted 12-08-2005 10:04 AM                        When I flew out of Portland, ME in August, they had a stupid policy about taking your shoes off. If you did not remove your shoes and put them on the conveyor to be x-rayed, you were subjected to a full search, whether you set off the metal detector or not!  |  IP: Logged John Pytlak Film God Posts: 9987 From: Rochester, NY 14650-1922 Registered: Jan 2000 posted 12-08-2005 10:59 AM                        quote: When I flew out of Portland, ME in August, they had a stupid policy about taking your shoes off. If you did not remove your shoes and put them on the conveyor to be x-rayed, you were subjected to a full search, whether you set off the metal detector or not! Wasn't Portland ME one of the airports that some of the 9/11 highjackers got cleared by security and "into the system" without further checks? Probably good reason for them to be more likely to insist on extra inspection.  |  IP: Logged Paul Mayer Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under! Posts: 3836 From: Albuquerque, NM Registered: Feb 2000 posted 12-08-2005 12:20 PM                        The TSA are morons - every last one of those stupid bastards from the top down. Imagine federalizing a bunch of security guard rejects. They are a thing of scorn, and a thing of shame. And an endless source for jokes and putdowns. Really, we all have to stifle a snicker every time we see one of these mouth breathing, slack-jawed, single-helix types in their clown suits. They are both laughed at and loathed by everyone else in the air transportation industry, customer and worker alike. Some common industry TSA monikers: TSA: Thousands Standing Around Too Slow for Arby's Too Stupid for Arby's Take Shoes off Asshole Thumbs Stuck in Asses Take Some Aspirin This Sucks Ass Terrorist Stay Away Take Scissors Away There's Still Amtrak Q: How do you qualify to be a TSA screener? A: The usual. You take some tests. Q: What kind of tests to you have to take? A: The usual. Aptitude and intelligence tests. Q: What kind of scores to you have to make? A: The usual. The lower the better. The TSA is the best thing to ever happen to Al Qaeda. [ 12-22-2005, 12:14 AM: Message edited by: Paul Mayer ]  |  IP: Logged Louis Bornwasser Film God Posts: 4441 From: prospect ky usa Registered: Mar 2005 posted 12-08-2005 01:43 PM                        "We have met the enermy and they is us!" Pogo  |  IP: Logged Leo Enticknap Film God Posts: 7474 From: Loma Linda, CA Registered: Jul 2000 posted 12-08-2005 05:32 PM                        When I entered the US at Memphis last Tuesday the whole operation was very polite, efficient and well-run. I think the immigration officer appreciated the fact that I'd filled out my visa waiver form correctly (on my last trip I got stuck behind someone who hadn't, which caused a 10-minute delay). He asked me why and for how long I was here, scanned my index fingers and took my photo, welcomed me to the US and sent me on to the baggage claim. The entire process took a couple of minutes at most. Approaching the security gate for the transfer desk there was an officer walking up the line, asking people if their shoes normally went through the body scanner without triggering it. If the answer was anything other than 'yes, they've been through before', he advised them to take the shoes off and put them in a tray through the x-ray machine, but if queried said that doing so was optional. My glasses caused the scanner to light up (or at least, I think it was my glasses), so I got a pat down. The officer was very polite, it only took a moment, I was welcomed to the US again and was on my way very soon afterwards. It was all very quick and unthreatening, and a stark contrast to the x-ray people at Amsterdam Airport, who look at you like you're a subhuman life form if you don't speak to them in Dutch.  |  IP: Logged Mark Hajducki Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 500 From: Edinburgh, UK Registered: May 2003 posted 12-08-2005 05:46 PM                     The most ridiculous transport security I underwent was when I was on a sea journey from Amsterdam to Newcastle last summer. I was selected for a random bag search (which was carried out as a pat down of my rucksack). The largish pair of scissors at the top of my bag were looked at and ignored, but the hardback book at the bottom caused the bag checker much excitement (and was the least acceptable object in my bag). What was more annoying was that vehicle passengers were not subjected to the same security checks and could carry anything up from their car into their cabin.  |  IP: Logged Bruce Hansen Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 847 From: Stone Mountain, GA, USA Registered: Dec 1999 posted 12-08-2005 05:59 PM                     Shortly after 9/11 a friend reminded me that I had said for years, that what was being called security at the airport, is nothing more than hurasment. Since you can see what it is, and where it is, a terrist can plan a way around it. Well, if you look closely, they are still doing the same thing, only slower. The people in charge are political apointies. They have no clue. At one time I traveled with a portable DAT player because I can get 6 hours of audio on a 90 meter tape at 32K. Because it draws a good amount of current, I had a small gell cell with it. At one small airport I was flying out of, the DAT and battery were run through the X-ray machine with no problem. But as I went to pick up my stuff, a TSA dweeb noticed the battery, and wanted to know what it was. I told him it was a battery for my DAT. He kept asking me questions about it. I kept telling him it is a battery. Note that it says "PANASONIC BATTERY" right on it, and gives voltage, and current specks. But this TSA moron could not figure it out, I guess he could not read. I was wondering why he didn't ask me to hook the battery to the DAT, and show him that it worked? I wondered why he didn't just run it back through the X-ray machine, to see what was inside? I decided not to say anything to see if he could come up with either of these options. But I guess he wasn't that smart. He finally let me go. I now travel with a MP3 CD player.  |  IP: Logged Aaron Mehocic Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 804 From: New Castle, PA, USA Registered: Jun 99 posted 12-10-2005 11:26 AM                     When the TSA was first announced my dad begged me to get an application. Not that I'm qualified (I'm not), but it was a Federal job and that might mean Federal benefits. My dad isn't a welfare slug, but he is an old-school Roosevelt Democrat.  |  IP: Logged Gordon McLeod Film God Posts: 9532 From: Toronto Ontario Canada Registered: Jun 99 posted 12-10-2005 01:46 PM                     On the last flight I was on my laptop was left for about 30min in the xray unit due to a dispute with the person in the line in front haveing an argument with the security guard over refusing to remove his belt since the buckle set of the alarm Well my laptop was fried and when I compleained it was pointed out they had no responsibility for damage as security screening is "volentary" as no one forces you to fly Also in toronto there are large signs requiring steel toed shoes to be removed prior to screening (I want to know if they santize the floors )  |  IP: Logged Greg Mueller Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1687 From: Port Gamble, WA Registered: Jun 99 posted 12-10-2005 02:40 PM                        I have learned not to argue with the idiots. You can't win. Their little ego trip will escalate as far as it needs to, to "beat you". So I carry no metal and wear slipper type shoes that I don't have to untie. All my car keys and what not I put in my ski type jacket pockets. All I have on me is my passport and drivers license. I walk up put my ski jacket in the bin and walk through the gate thingy. Usually they are happy....usually What really pisses me off is when they stamp all the "S"s all over your boarding pass. That stands for "screw" and you have to get in the special line and get treated like a criminal. They say it's random, but that's BS. I have a friend whose name must match some terrorist suspect. EVERY time he tries to fly he is pulled out of line. Apparently his name is on a "do not allow on the plane" list. He's been trying to fight it for years now. Meanwhile, you see these mideastern types with their wives in some berka outfit cruise right through security. Apparently they don't say anything to those types as they figure they'd be sued for profiling. (duh) The wife and I flew to NM a while back and she had a broken foot. So we had a wheel chair meet us at the front door. On the way through "the line" they made her get out of the wheel chair so they could search it. IT WAS THEIR WHEELCHAIR and their attendant was pushing it (they wouldn't let me) Are they idiots? Yes they are  |  IP: Logged

All times are Central (GMT -6:00)

This topic comprises 4 pages: 1  2  3  4

Printer-friendly view of this topic

Hop To: Select a Forum: Category: Operations -------------------- Digital Cinema Forum Film Handlers' Forum Large Format Forum Ground Level Feature Info, Trailer Attachments & REAL Credit Offsets Category: Community -------------------- Film-Yak Film Handlers' Movie Reviews The Afterlife Bob Maar's Joke-A-Thon Category: Classified -------------------- Equipment and Supplies Wanted/For Sale Help Wanted/Seeking Employment Category: System -------------------- Software Beta Testing Forum

The Film-Tech Forums are designed for various members related to the cinema industry to express their opinions, viewpoints and testimonials on various products, services and events based upon speculation, personal knowledge and factual information through use, therefore all views represented here allow no liability upon the publishers of this web site and the owners of said views assume no liability for any ill will resulting from these postings. The posts made here are for educational as well as entertainment purposes and as such anyone viewing this portion of the website must accept these views as statements of the author of that opinion and agrees to release the authors from any and all liability.