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Author Topic: Do you look before you flush? Joe Redifer You need a beating today Posts: 12859 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: May 99 posted 02-08-2006 02:52 AM                        As you've no doubt noticed, we at Film-Tech are mighty curious about you crazy people. We know that you pee in the shower and that you walk loops around your car before getting in. So, when you take a giant dump, do you look in the toilet to see the result before you flush? Please also answer the following: -Do you wipe your ass sitting down or standing up? -Do you try to conserve paper or do you grab a huge wad? -Do you keep wiping until nothing comes off on the toilet paper anymore, or do you just give it a quick wipe or two and hope it is clean? -If you are a man and you are taking a dump, do you take the opportunity to pee sitting down like a woman, or do you insist on peeing while standing up because you are too manly to sit? -Do you prefer American or Japanese automobiles? -Do you flush the toilet after you pee, or do you wait until you drop some logs so you can say you are saving the planet by conserving water? If the latter, do you like it when pee splashes on your ass when you drop a load? -Do you take a whiff to smell the result or do you try to hold your breath until you can escape? Answer these now! NOTE: Yes, we know about that "rate my crap" website. No need to post that link here, so don't.  |  IP: Logged Monte L Fullmer Film God Posts: 8367 From: Nampa, Idaho, USA Registered: Nov 2004 posted 02-08-2006 03:16 AM                     LOL! You're a hoot, Joe. I drive a Mitsubishi Eclipse and a Suzuki Esteem Wagon - I love Japanese cars... Course, you know when you or someone had a fast dump, by the skidmarks in the toilet bowl...  |  IP: Logged Dieter Depypere Master Film Handler Posts: 343 From: Deutsch-Wagram, Lower Austria, Austria Registered: May 2005 posted 02-08-2006 03:48 AM                     Joe... there are limits though  |  IP: Logged Joe Redifer You need a beating today Posts: 12859 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: May 99 posted 02-08-2006 04:31 AM                        Yes, I know! There is only so much paper on a roll...  |  IP: Logged Anslem Rayburn Master Film Handler Posts: 476 From: Yuma, AZ, USA Registered: May 2002 posted 02-08-2006 04:56 AM                     -Do you wipe your ass sitting down or standing up? It's a mid-sit, half-squat. I will claim sitting on this one. -Do you try to conserve paper or do you grab a huge wad? Wad. -Do you keep wiping until nothing comes off on the toilet paper anymore, or do you just give it a quick wipe or two and hope it is clean? Wipe until the paper's clean. I don't like to offend. -If you are a man and you are taking a dump, do you take the opportunity to pee sitting down like a woman, or do you insist on peeing while standing up because you are too manly to sit? If I feel the urge to pee while taking a manly dump, I let it go. -Do you prefer American or Japanese automobiles? Japanese. Higher resale value, and that's American in-and-of-itself. -Do you flush the toilet after you pee, or do you wait until you drop some logs so you can say you are saving the planet by onserving water? If the latter, do you like it when pee splashes on your ass when you drop a load? Every drop = 1 flush. F*ck the env*ronment. -Do you take a whiff to smell the result or do you try to hold your breath until you can escape? I love my own brand. WHIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFF. As with other issues, your mileage may vary!  |  IP: Logged Frank Angel Film God Posts: 5305 From: Brooklyn NY USA Registered: Dec 1999 posted 02-08-2006 11:13 AM                        Hey Joe, I want some of the drugs you've taking lately. On the other hand, you may have hit on something here and your survey may be of great value to the Charmin people who at this very moment are test marketing ass-wipes (I kid you not). Their campaign hinges on the inference that you couldn't possibly be "clean" with just using toilet paper. They want you to use their wet-wipes. Their ad shows a woman squeezing a glob of toothpaste on her arm and wipeing it off with toilet paper. Of course it smears and isn't all gone by a long shot and the public is supposed to be convinced of how dirty their collective ass remains when they just wipe with paper. Charmin wants to convince us that now we need wet wipes to be "really" clean. I say it would be a lot more impressive an ad and more to the point if she smeared peanut butter on her arm -- a big glob of brown stuff -- instead of tooth paste, but evidently Charmin was trying hard not to get too graphic, and they never actually say the word ASS, instead they show these big cuddly cartoon bears trying to get their butts clean by rubbing them against tree trunks (very bizarre). The Europeans have their bidays, Charmin wants us all to use their biday-in-a-box. Smart marketing move. I bet it catches on big-time. No one wants to walk around thinking they still have toothpast smeared up their assholes. And just on a serious note, what comes out your butt can tell you alot about your health; a whole slew of diseases from parasites to cancer show evidence in the stool. My mum taught us to always look before we flush. If there is any hint of blood, for example, it could be a sign of serious illness and getting to a doctor quickly could be life-saving. Not checking could let you go for much longer before you realized that you needed medical attention. With something like colon cancer, that wait could be very siginificant. So yah, always check it out. I been doing it since I was a babe. Only remember not to get freaked out the day after you eat beats.  |  IP: Logged Richard Hamilton Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1341 From: Evansville, Indiana Registered: Jan 2000 posted 02-08-2006 11:24 AM                     Wow, I never thought about beets! I usually eat a corn and peanut casserole every once and a while just for fun, hehe.  |  IP: Logged Mike Blakesley Film God Posts: 12767 From: Forsyth, Montana Registered: Jun 99 posted 02-08-2006 12:17 PM                        Joe must be out of a job or something.  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 02-08-2006 01:17 PM                     quote: -If you are a man and you are taking a dump, do you take the opportunity to pee sitting down like a woman, or do you insist on peeing while standing up because you are too manly to sit? I try to pee sitting down whenever possible. I had an accident at work, a while back. I went to the doctor at the Occupational Health Center. He told me to avoid lifting heavy objects.  |  IP: Logged Richard Hamilton Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1341 From: Evansville, Indiana Registered: Jan 2000 posted 02-08-2006 01:25 PM                     Randy, I told you I didnt need any help when we were standing a couple of urinals away. I grew up lifting this thing every day!  |  IP: Logged Allison Parsons Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 630 From: East Peoria, IL Registered: Oct 2004 posted 02-08-2006 01:33 PM                        Do I look before I flush? Of course, it's like giving birth: You just want to see what whatever came out of you looks like.  |  IP: Logged Mike Blakesley Film God Posts: 12767 From: Forsyth, Montana Registered: Jun 99 posted 02-08-2006 01:38 PM                        This thread reminds me of one my favorite bits of poetry: You can shake it with your fist You can bang it against the wall But when you put it in your shorts That last drop's sure to fall -- Author unknown  |  IP: Logged Mike Heenan Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1896 From: Scottsdale, AZ, USA Registered: Mar 2000 posted 02-08-2006 02:24 PM                     Shi-Poopi! Here must be Joe's homepage, Rate My Poo. I dont think I have to warn anyone about clicking on that link... but I think I will anyways!  |  IP: Logged Aaron Sisemore Flaming Ribs beat Reeses Peanut Butter Cups any day! Posts: 3061 From: Rockwall TX USA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 02-08-2006 02:26 PM                     whatever, Joe...  |  IP: Logged James R. Hammonds, Jr Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 931 From: Houston, TX, USA Registered: Nov 2000 posted 02-08-2006 02:26 PM                     I typically look before I flush and I usually watch it go down. Gotta watch for stranglers. I wipe sitting down. I use a big wad of paper I keep wiping until little or nothing is comes off on the toilet paper. After that, I use one of the Charmin wet wipes Frank mentioned until it's completely done. They work. If I am at home, I typically pee sitting down whether or not I am taking a dump. Next time you pee standing up, watch as little droplets of water splash out onto the walls, floor, and even YOU. In public, I typically stand unless I am dumping. If they have seat covers, I use those. If not and I really need to dump, paper towels and hand soap usually clean the seat off good enough for me. I don't have an aotomobile preference. I flush each time I go. The splash rarely happens, but I don't mind it. I don't consciosly take a whiff, but I don't try to hold my breath either. If I'm at home, I spray some air freshener.  |  IP: Logged

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