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Author Topic: When you wipe your ass, do you go from front to back or back to front? Paul Mayer Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under! Posts: 3836 From: Albuquerque, NM Registered: Feb 2000 posted 02-17-2006 01:46 AM                        Well?  |  IP: Logged Nate Lehrke Master Film Handler Posts: 396 From: Denver, CO Registered: Oct 2002 posted 02-17-2006 01:48 AM                     side to side for me.  |  IP: Logged Dick Vaughan Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1032 From: Bradford, West Yorkshire, UK Registered: Jul 2000 posted 02-17-2006 03:27 AM                        You mean you chaps don't have someone to do it for you Over here in the home of the Founding Fathers we have had a long tradition here of employing someone to carry out those distasteful jobs. Old King Henry VIII had The Groom Of The King's Stool for instance.  |  IP: Logged Nick Scott Expert Film Handler Posts: 133 From: nsw austrailia Registered: Nov 2004 posted 02-17-2006 03:43 AM                        Start at the back for me and have a nice stretch  |  IP: Logged Joe Redifer You need a beating today Posts: 12859 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: May 99 posted 02-17-2006 04:31 AM                        Giant wad of toilet paper shoved right in the middle. Scrub around back and forth and from side to side. A twist can also come in handy. Keep it up. 8 minutes later, your done!  |  IP: Logged Nate Lehrke Master Film Handler Posts: 396 From: Denver, CO Registered: Oct 2002 posted 02-17-2006 05:24 AM                     So Joe, you wipe in a tornado motion?  |  IP: Logged Mark Gulbrandsen Resident Trollmaster Posts: 16657 From: Music City Registered: Jun 99 posted 02-17-2006 05:52 AM                     quote: Nate Lehrke So Joe, you wipe in a tornado motion? Auntie Em... Its a twister... its a twister....  |  IP: Logged Michael Brown Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1522 From: Bradford, England Registered: May 2001 posted 02-17-2006 07:19 AM                     Nobody else here uses the 3 sea-shells?  |  IP: Logged Dominic Espinosa Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1172 From: Boulder Creek, CA. Registered: Jan 2004 posted 02-17-2006 01:40 PM                     Front, back, side to side, sometimes diagonally to spice things up.  |  IP: Logged Steve Scott Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1300 From: Minneapolis, MN Registered: Sep 2000 posted 02-17-2006 01:53 PM                     So, anybody own a bidet?  |  IP: Logged Dieter Depypere Master Film Handler Posts: 343 From: Deutsch-Wagram, Lower Austria, Austria Registered: May 2005 posted 02-17-2006 02:21 PM                     Wiping? For wimps I use a full-automated toilet with water sprayer No honestly, I wipe somehow (I do not check how. Who am I?). (Seriously guys, how many silly questions will follow?)  |  IP: Logged Brad Allen Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 688 From: Evansville, IN, USA Registered: May 2000 posted 02-17-2006 04:24 PM                     And how many of u simply don't wipe at all?  |  IP: Logged Paul Mayer Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under! Posts: 3836 From: Albuquerque, NM Registered: Feb 2000 posted 02-17-2006 06:02 PM                        Well, for those kind of people, maybe we should send them a copy of this poster for mounting in some conspicuous location: As for me, being an old DC-3 pilot kind of guy, I use corn cobs. Direction agnostic.  |  IP: Logged Phil Hill I love my cootie bug Posts: 7595 From: Hollywood, CA USA Registered: Mar 2000 posted 02-17-2006 06:27 PM                  When I was in the Army, I was assigned the take the Jungle Survival Course and spent 2 weeks with only the bare necessities that were issued. That included among other things, K rations and a few sheets of TP. We were instructed how to make good use of the limited amount of TP. Basically, ya folded a single square twice upon itself to form a smaller square with a common corner. Then you'd tear a small piece from that corner and save it. Then unfold the sheet and stick your finger thru the hole in the center of the sheet and wipe. Afterwards, use that small piece of TP you saved to clean your fingernail.  |  IP: Logged Bobby Henderson "Ask me about Trajan." Posts: 10973 From: Lawton, OK, USA Registered: Apr 2001 posted 02-17-2006 06:28 PM                     Multiple wipes in multiple directions -with clean paper applied to the angle of attack on each wipe! You'll smear shit all over your cornhole otherwise! Perhaps I am a bit paranoid. Like I said before in a previous post, if I have to go to too much trouble I'll just take a shower to get my back end properly clean. quote: Brad Allen And how many of u simply don't wipe at all? If the thought of wiping doesn't occur to the person, then he is a true slob. And he likely doesn't have a girlfriend either. I'll bet at least a few relationships have ended over the girlfriend discovering brown scortch marks in her boyfriend's shorts. Someone who deliberately doesn't wipe is indeed making an anti-social statement. If it's a hippie refusing to wipe just to save some trees, then he's being an asshole about his asshole.  |  IP: Logged

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