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» Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE   » Community   » Film-Yak   » When you wipe your ass, do you go from front to back or back to front? (Page 1)

 
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Author Topic: When you wipe your ass, do you go from front to back or back to front?
Paul Mayer
Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under!

Posts: 3836
From: Albuquerque, NM
Registered: Feb 2000


 - posted 02-17-2006 01:46 AM      Profile for Paul Mayer   Author's Homepage   Email Paul Mayer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well? [Big Grin]

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Nate Lehrke
Master Film Handler

Posts: 396
From: Denver, CO
Registered: Oct 2002


 - posted 02-17-2006 01:48 AM      Profile for Nate Lehrke   Email Nate Lehrke   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
side to side for me.

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Dick Vaughan
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1032
From: Bradford, West Yorkshire, UK
Registered: Jul 2000


 - posted 02-17-2006 03:27 AM      Profile for Dick Vaughan   Author's Homepage   Email Dick Vaughan   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You mean you chaps don't have someone to do it for you [Confused]

Over here in the home of the Founding Fathers we have had a long tradition here of employing someone to carry out those distasteful jobs. Old King Henry VIII had The Groom Of The King's Stool for instance.

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Nick Scott
Expert Film Handler

Posts: 133
From: nsw austrailia
Registered: Nov 2004


 - posted 02-17-2006 03:43 AM      Profile for Nick Scott   Author's Homepage   Email Nick Scott   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Start at the back for me and have a nice stretch [Big Grin]

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Joe Redifer
You need a beating today

Posts: 12859
From: Denver, Colorado
Registered: May 99


 - posted 02-17-2006 04:31 AM      Profile for Joe Redifer   Author's Homepage   Email Joe Redifer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Giant wad of toilet paper shoved right in the middle. Scrub around back and forth and from side to side. A twist can also come in handy. Keep it up. 8 minutes later, your done!

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Nate Lehrke
Master Film Handler

Posts: 396
From: Denver, CO
Registered: Oct 2002


 - posted 02-17-2006 05:24 AM      Profile for Nate Lehrke   Email Nate Lehrke   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So Joe, you wipe in a tornado motion?

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Mark Gulbrandsen
Resident Trollmaster

Posts: 16657
From: Music City
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 02-17-2006 05:52 AM      Profile for Mark Gulbrandsen   Email Mark Gulbrandsen   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote: Nate Lehrke
So Joe, you wipe in a tornado motion?

Auntie Em... Its a twister... its a twister....

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Michael Brown
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1522
From: Bradford, England
Registered: May 2001


 - posted 02-17-2006 07:19 AM      Profile for Michael Brown   Email Michael Brown   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Nobody else here uses the 3 sea-shells?
[Confused]

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Dominic Espinosa
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1172
From: California, U.S.A.
Registered: Jan 2004


 - posted 02-17-2006 01:40 PM      Profile for Dominic Espinosa   Email Dominic Espinosa   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Front, back, side to side, sometimes diagonally to spice things up.

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Steve Scott
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1300
From: Minneapolis, MN
Registered: Sep 2000


 - posted 02-17-2006 01:53 PM      Profile for Steve Scott   Email Steve Scott   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
So, anybody own a bidet? [Big Grin]

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Dieter Depypere
Master Film Handler

Posts: 343
From: Deutsch-Wagram, Lower Austria, Austria
Registered: May 2005


 - posted 02-17-2006 02:21 PM      Profile for Dieter Depypere   Email Dieter Depypere   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Wiping? For wimps [Big Grin] I use a full-automated toilet with water sprayer [Razz]

No honestly, I wipe somehow (I do not check how. Who am I?).

(Seriously guys, how many silly questions will follow?)

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Brad Allen
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 688
From: Evansville, IN, USA
Registered: May 2000


 - posted 02-17-2006 04:24 PM      Profile for Brad Allen   Email Brad Allen   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
And how many of u simply don't wipe at all?

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Paul Mayer
Oh get out of it Melvin, before it pulls you under!

Posts: 3836
From: Albuquerque, NM
Registered: Feb 2000


 - posted 02-17-2006 06:02 PM      Profile for Paul Mayer   Author's Homepage   Email Paul Mayer   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, for those kind of people, maybe we should send them a copy of this poster for mounting in some conspicuous location:

 -

As for me, being an old DC-3 pilot kind of guy, I use corn cobs. Direction agnostic.

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Phil Hill
I love my cootie bug

Posts: 7595
From: Hollywood, CA USA
Registered: Mar 2000


 - posted 02-17-2006 06:27 PM      Profile for Phil Hill   Email Phil Hill       Edit/Delete Post 
When I was in the Army, I was assigned the take the Jungle Survival Course and spent 2 weeks with only the bare necessities that were issued. That included among other things, K rations and a few sheets of TP.

We were instructed how to make good use of the limited amount of TP. Basically, ya folded a single square twice upon itself to form a smaller square with a common corner.

Then you'd tear a small piece from that corner and save it.

Then unfold the sheet and stick your finger thru the hole in the center of the sheet and wipe.

Afterwards, use that small piece of TP you saved to clean your fingernail.

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Bobby Henderson
"Ask me about Trajan."

Posts: 10973
From: Lawton, OK, USA
Registered: Apr 2001


 - posted 02-17-2006 06:28 PM      Profile for Bobby Henderson   Email Bobby Henderson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Multiple wipes in multiple directions -with clean paper applied to the angle of attack on each wipe! You'll smear shit all over your cornhole otherwise!

Perhaps I am a bit paranoid. Like I said before in a previous post, if I have to go to too much trouble I'll just take a shower to get my back end properly clean.

quote: Brad Allen
And how many of u simply don't wipe at all?
If the thought of wiping doesn't occur to the person, then he is a true slob. And he likely doesn't have a girlfriend either. I'll bet at least a few relationships have ended over the girlfriend discovering brown scortch marks in her boyfriend's shorts.

Someone who deliberately doesn't wipe is indeed making an anti-social statement. If it's a hippie refusing to wipe just to save some trees, then he's being an asshole about his asshole.

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