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Author Topic: Lack of manners by young people is troublesome Claude S. Ayakawa Film God Posts: 2738 From: Waipahu, Hawaii, USA Registered: Aug 2002 posted 02-04-2009 03:28 PM                        Probably the first two words I learned from my mother was THANK YOU as well as how to be a well mannered person in life. I also remember my sister in law making sure my two nephews learned and used these words from the time they were little. Unfortunately many young people today did not have parents that taught their children proper manners like my mother and my sister in law and that is unfortunate. It is very frustrating to go to stores or fast food restaurants that are staffed with young people that fail to say thank you and greet customers with a smile and a eagerness to serve. Instead many have a surly manner and gave one an impression they were doing us a favor by waiting on us. My biggest pet peeve however is when I held a door open for someone and they did not even bother to say thank you. I have a car and use it a lot but I also use public transportation and have found more and more young people seating in areas on the bus that reserved for senior citizens who fail to yield their seat to seniors like myself The thread I started the other day at 'Ground Level'' about young people using their cell phones to text messages during a movie is another classic example how many young people show their disregard to others. It is also sad to point out the fact that bad manners is not only limited to young people. I have also experienced it among older people too. -Claude  |  IP: Logged Robert E. Allen Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1078 From: Checotah, Oklahoma Registered: Jul 2002 posted 02-04-2009 04:44 PM                     Well Claude, it has been my observation both in exhibition and retailing that the "social graces" have been entirely lost in our younger generation. Young men seem to know nothing about being "gentlemen" and young women seem to know little about being "ladies". The men seem to think that being foul-mouthed and treating women as sexual objects is acceptable and the women (girls actually) seem to think that dressing like hookers is acceptable. Their passion to emulate celebrates (most of whom seem to have the morals of a rock) and poor parenting seem to be responsible. I'm not sure I can blame them entirely as they haven't been taught anything better and in an effort to "belong" they join the "everybody's doing it" generation joining that great parade of compassless individuals headed down a bumpy road. This is, of course, a generalization. I have supervised some fine young people.  |  IP: Logged Randy Stankey Film God Posts: 6539 From: Erie, Pennsylvania Registered: Jun 99 posted 02-04-2009 05:10 PM                     While it does not excuse rude behavior, it should be pointed out that many people in retail situations (stores, fast food restaurants, etc.) operate on the assumption that it is more polite to be fast and efficient than to waste time chatting. This goes especially for big cities. It is not uncommon for retail transactions to sound like: "Your total is $3.98...Your change...Thank you...Next customer, please." I'm not saying that is necessarily right. It's just that peoples' expectations have changed. Where it was once thought polite to speak to every customer individually, it is now thought to be more polite to move customers through the line as quickly as possible so that any individual doesn't have to wait too long. There is a certain amount of it driven by good old-fashioned capitalist greed. But, on the flipside, can you remember how many times you are forced to stand in line behind somebody fumbling for their wallet and chatting at the same time?  |  IP: Logged Martin McCaffery Film God Posts: 2481 From: Montgomery, AL Registered: Jun 99 posted 02-04-2009 05:49 PM                        I know I am old enough to qualify as an old fart, but let's not pretend some previous generation was blessed with good manners and Kids These Days are hopeless boors. Watch any old sitcom long enough and there will be a show on how kids have no manners. I remember being on a HS field trip, probably in 1974, after which several busloads of us were taken to McDonald's. I placed my order saying please and got it saying thank you. The counter person (who seemed old to me at the time but was probably a single mom in her 30's) said I was the first person that day to say thank you. Similarly, around they same era, I remember holding a door open for someone and that person laughing at me for doing so. Ya know what, I still hold doors open and still say thank you to the purveyors of junk food because it is polite, and every now and then, it makes someone's miserable day a little better. Hell, I say thank you when a cop gives me a ticket! And if you really want to see where kids are learning their manners, come to our children's shows in the summer. We cater to day care centers and I know manners (along with punctuality, good nutrition and proper line forming) are not part of the agenda. But every now and then, a kid will say thank you and I will say Your Welcome right back to it. You can't raise other people's kids, you just have to be responsible for yourself. And shoot the ones talking in the theatre;>  |  IP: Logged Ron Funderburg Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 814 From: Chickasha, Oklahoma, USA Registered: Nov 2007 posted 02-04-2009 05:51 PM                        I can remember as a youth being told that we, the younger generation, were loud, unruly, rude who totally lacked a work ethic. I can fondly remember when the same person who stated this spoke of how these same individuals had grown to be quite respectable individuals with good work ethics and manners to boot. I know that I worked hard to gain that individuals respect and it wasn't an easy task. He was a supervisor at a printing company where I was a typesetter, working there full time and working in theaters full time at the same time. So when he at last told me I was a good employee (in some way other than an increase in pay) it meant a lot to me. Since this time I have noticed that older individuals have always thought the next generation was a bit lacking. My father, before his death, told me he could remember before he left for the war (that is the big one WWII) that he was told what an irresponsible slob he was by an employer between his Jr. and Sr years at high school. However, watching over the last 5 to 6 years, I see as rule that this naturally less responsible period is lasting longer, the rudeness is more harsh, and the work ethic isn't developing in many of the youth today at all. I see a greater propensity in the youth of today toward the quick and easy. This may be in part at least, the fast food lifestyle we have adopted to be sure. I don't find many of the kids I have been associated with in past few years as stepping up to the plate to deliver but more and more asking why someone doesn't just give them what they want. Of course, there are exceptions which gives me hope for the future. I blame the parents of these examples for the most part and wonder just where and when it all started to go south. For certain we live in fast food society and to a degree the women are treated as having less importance because now they insist on being an equal rather than someone we (as males) treat with the respect due someone special. Well just some observations by a guy that has been around a bit!  |  IP: Logged Jennifer Pan THE JEN! Posts: 1219 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: Nov 2003 posted 02-04-2009 07:25 PM                        It's not just the younger generation, people of all ages lack manners or are appreciative to others. I don't get thank yous for doing/giving things all the time. It's not just manners... the behavior of this entire generation has become more negative. I got honked at yesterday by an older guy for driving the speed limit. Tailing me for over a mile when there were clearly two other lanes to choose from.  |  IP: Logged Ron Funderburg Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 814 From: Chickasha, Oklahoma, USA Registered: Nov 2007 posted 02-04-2009 07:56 PM                        Jennifer there has been a general decline in civility for the past 10 to 15 years. I think it is a combination of things but cell phones in general have led to a lot of manner less behavior! We seem as a society not to care about others anymore! Then again we can be rather thoughtless on this forum at times but hey usually we aren't all that serious when insulting others here! "Oh well it will not make a bit of difference in 100 years what we say or do here today." Well that is what a boss of mine use to say, it was so depressing then and maybe more so now than then.  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 02-04-2009 08:04 PM                       quote: Jennifer Pan I got honked at yesterday by an older guy for driving the speed limit. Tailing me for over a mile when there were clearly two other lanes to choose from. Were you in the right-hand lane?  |  IP: Logged Jennifer Pan THE JEN! Posts: 1219 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: Nov 2003 posted 02-04-2009 08:10 PM                        Middle lane and he had plenty of room to change to other lanes... So I finally just moved over to the right lane and went on my merry way.  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 02-04-2009 08:52 PM                       Slower traffic is supposed to stay right. He was probably mad because you weren't yielding.  |  IP: Logged Mike Heenan Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1896 From: Scottsdale, AZ, USA Registered: Mar 2000 posted 02-04-2009 09:31 PM                     It's a good thing you were slow and in his way initially. Your actions may have changed things, and prevented him from jumping the curb and running over 10 people at an outdoor market, like old people are prone to doing.  |  IP: Logged Jennifer Pan THE JEN! Posts: 1219 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: Nov 2003 posted 02-04-2009 09:34 PM                        Since when is the speed limit slower traffic???  |  IP: Logged Tim Reed Better Projection Pays Posts: 5246 From: Northampton, PA Registered: Sep 1999 posted 02-04-2009 11:57 PM                       Mike... ROFL!! Jen: That's defensive driving. I know it doesn't seem fair but if everyone else is doing 70 in a 55, yet you are doing the speed limit, then you are slower traffic. I've seen lots of cars rear-ended that way. Sure it would be the other driver's fault, but at what cost? We're supposed to stay right unless passing. Here in NY/NJ/PA, it's difficult, as everyone always speeds up when you try to pass them. I still haven't been able to figure out why they do that, but almost without fail, they do. I'm normally a speed-limit driver unless every lane is speeding, then I have to at least increase my speed by a safe margin in order to avoid being a hazard.  |  IP: Logged Monte L Fullmer Film God Posts: 8367 From: Nampa, Idaho, USA Registered: Nov 2004 posted 02-05-2009 12:03 AM                     quote: Jennifer Pan Since when is the speed limit slower traffic??? I run into this almost all the time on the I-84 corridor between the ORE border and Boise: people driving slow in the middle lane of a "three laner." Admittedly, I used to have the horrible problem of "road rage" - thinking that I owned the road and expected all the other drivers to know what I know since I read the manual and know how to drive freeways (which sounds like the case that Jen experienced with this tailgater..she should have called the state police and said that she has a tailgater behind her on her cel. That would have iced that driver off pretty good..). But now, after doing self 'anger management procedures,' I just now go on either side of that middle lane slow driver. For that person driving in the middle lane DOESN't care what you think and how you are reacting, so why waste the effort in proving to him what you know. "LET it GO"... and go around that driver. ALSO, on a two lane and some bozo is slow in the fast lane and you simply cant get around that bozo even when tipping the lights on bright to make him move over: to save face since that person ALSO doesn't care what you think, pull the frick over in the emerg stopping lane for one minute then re-emerge back into traffic. This keeps the tempers and rage at a sane level. (Sorry to drift off-topic there for a bit, but still the same is the topic of manners. And do agree: they are getting few and far between these days...) -Monte  |  IP: Logged Justin Hamaker Film God Posts: 2253 From: Lakeport, CA USA Registered: Jan 2004 posted 02-05-2009 12:11 AM                        With relation to young men being "gentlemen", I've noticed some new trends when it comes to interacting with the girls. First of all, it seems that more and more "couples" are going dutch. And I rarely even see the guy offering to pay. Related to the first observation is the "ladies first" rule seems to have completely gone away. Teen boy and even early twenty somethings don't seem to have the slightest hesitation to going in front of the girls they are with - and then not paying. And it's not even like they are just chatting and the one closest to the window goes first, the guys will actively move in front of the girls. Maybe it comes off as sexist to today's world, but I've always believed in ladies first. And I always at least offer to pay - even if it's just friends. The one thing I try to make a point of is thanking someone - especially a teen - when they show good manners. One specific instance that comes to mind is a girl steps up to the concession counter while talking on her phone. As she steps up, she actually tells the person I'll call you back and puts her phone away. I don't think she understood why I said "thank you for that".  |  IP: Logged

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