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» Film-Tech Forum ARCHIVE   » Community   » Film-Yak   » Mom & Dad's anniversary (when Dad has passed away) - what to do?

   
Author Topic: Mom & Dad's anniversary (when Dad has passed away) - what to do?
Mike Blakesley
Film God

Posts: 12767
From: Forsyth, Montana
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 10-02-2009 12:21 PM      Profile for Mike Blakesley   Author's Homepage   Email Mike Blakesley   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My dad passed away early this summer, and today is their wedding anniversary...what does a guy say to his mom on this occasion? I'll be seeing here later today.

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Rick Raskin
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1100
From: Manassas Virginia
Registered: Jan 2003


 - posted 10-02-2009 12:53 PM      Profile for Rick Raskin   Email Rick Raskin   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
If it were my family, "Happy Anniversary".

The response would likely be "Thank you, it would have been our #."

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Martin McCaffery
Film God

Posts: 2481
From: Montgomery, AL
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 10-02-2009 01:15 PM      Profile for Martin McCaffery   Author's Homepage   Email Martin McCaffery   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
"I love you, Mom" covers just about any occaision.

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Sam Graham
AKA: "The Evil Sam Graham". Wackiness ensues.

Posts: 1431
From: Waukee, IA
Registered: Dec 2004


 - posted 10-02-2009 02:55 PM      Profile for Sam Graham   Author's Homepage   Email Sam Graham   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just call her and say 'hi'. Let her bring it up.

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Chad Souder
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 962
From: Waterloo, IA, USA
Registered: Feb 2000


 - posted 10-02-2009 03:02 PM      Profile for Chad Souder   Email Chad Souder   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Give her a card and if time some flowers and say, "Here, Dad would have wanted you to have these"

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Mark Gulbrandsen
Resident Trollmaster

Posts: 16657
From: Music City
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 10-02-2009 03:21 PM      Profile for Mark Gulbrandsen   Email Mark Gulbrandsen   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'll second what Chad suggested....

Mark

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Randy Stankey
Film God

Posts: 6539
From: Erie, Pennsylvania
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 10-02-2009 04:59 PM      Profile for Randy Stankey   Email Randy Stankey   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My brother and I took our Mom out to dinner.

It was kind of a big deal back then because I was only 17 years old and he was 15. A couple of kids taking Mom out for dinner, regardless of what occasion is rather unique by itself.

It doesn't really matter what you do so long as you do something. Sitting on the sofa, watching TV together would be enough if that's what she wants.

It's more about the family being together than it is about the activity.

Mainly, don't let your mom be alone on the anniversary day unless she says she really WANTS to be alone. Even then, don't let her be "too alone." Be available, just a phone call away, in case she changes her mind and wants you.

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John Wilson
Film God

Posts: 5438
From: Sydney, Australia.
Registered: Dec 1999


 - posted 10-02-2009 08:21 PM      Profile for John Wilson   Email John Wilson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey Mike.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I lost my Mom in March of this year. Very sad times indeed.

Is your Mom in the same town as you? I'd make sure a visit was on the cards at least. If she's not in town, then a phone call.

Just make sure she knows you love her.

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Tim Reed
Better Projection Pays

Posts: 5246
From: Northampton, PA
Registered: Sep 1999


 - posted 10-03-2009 09:13 AM      Profile for Tim Reed   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
John and Mike both... I'm sorry to hear of your loss. [Frown]

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Brad Miller
Administrator

Posts: 17775
From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall)
Registered: May 99


 - posted 10-03-2009 12:06 PM      Profile for Brad Miller   Author's Homepage   Email Brad Miller       Edit/Delete Post 
Coming in late I third Chad's recommendation. What did you end up doing?

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Mike Blakesley
Film God

Posts: 12767
From: Forsyth, Montana
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 10-03-2009 12:58 PM      Profile for Mike Blakesley   Author's Homepage   Email Mike Blakesley   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well usually I see Mom every day here at the store, but it turned out she had a dr. appointment yesterday and didn't come in, so I wound up calling her last night and will see her today. She was glad to have the appointment to keep her mind off things. She's not really a "florist flowers" person (prefers to grow her own!) It went fine. Thanks all for the recommendations.

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Claude S. Ayakawa
Film God

Posts: 2738
From: Waipahu, Hawaii, USA
Registered: Aug 2002


 - posted 10-03-2009 01:25 PM      Profile for Claude S. Ayakawa   Author's Homepage   Email Claude S. Ayakawa   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Mike,

I am very sorry to learn about your loss. I lost my father a little over eleven years ago and although he was almost ninety years old when he left us, my mother, my sister and I still miss him terribly. One of the thing I found that had always comforted my mother was my constant mention of my father in the conversations we have had before mother was admitted to a nursing home with dementia. She is still there and I am with her almost every day and I constantly talk about my father and I can see she is very pleased when I do.

I have always believed the memory of a loved ones should not be buried with them when they pass away. I think your mother will be happy if you spent as much time as possible with her like I am doing and always talk about the good times you all had all enjoyed with your dad. Like my mother, I know she will appreciate it

-Claude

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John Wilson
Film God

Posts: 5438
From: Sydney, Australia.
Registered: Dec 1999


 - posted 10-05-2009 01:40 AM      Profile for John Wilson   Email John Wilson   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks Tim.

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Mike Blakesley
Film God

Posts: 12767
From: Forsyth, Montana
Registered: Jun 99


 - posted 10-05-2009 11:20 AM      Profile for Mike Blakesley   Author's Homepage   Email Mike Blakesley   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi Claude, yes that's what we are all doing. There are five siblings and at least two or three of us always visit Mom's house on most weekends (which we did before Dad passed), and I see her most every day here at work too, plus she has free entry privileges at the Roxy! Mom's actually becoming more outgoing these days, because Dad wasn't much into socializing so they didn't really go many places before he died...now she's beginning to get out more often which is good.

Time is precious. We have always been a close-knit family. I really feel sorry for those who don't get along with their parents - they (both parents and kids) are missing a lot.

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Chris Slycord
Film God

Posts: 2986
From: 퍼항시, 경상푹도, South Korea
Registered: Mar 2007


 - posted 10-05-2009 11:34 AM      Profile for Chris Slycord   Email Chris Slycord   Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It's a good thing she's getting around like she is, because otherwise it tends to be that when couples are older like that, when one goes the other follows within several months even though they were fairly healthy.

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