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Author Topic: Movies that suck Brad Miller Administrator Posts: 17775 From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall) Registered: May 99 posted 05-08-2010 01:14 PM                     I *think* we have enough hard drive space on the server to handle this thread... These can be important movies, massive box office success movies, critic's choice movies, or just any movie that for whatever reason just suck. What's your list with a quick reason why? Note, this thread is for fun. Those of you who feel the need to preach that some people like these movies or that they make money, please go to another thread. I realize I am missing hundreds in this list, but just to get the thread started here are a few come to mind quickly (no particular order of suckage): 2001 (boring) Avatar (boring) Schindler's List (boring) A Clockwork Orange (boring) Pirates of the Caribbean sequels (bad) Tony Scott movies (overdone) Ridley Scott movies (tired) Michael Bay movies (just awful) Sex and the City movies (don't even) Will Ferrell movies (ugh!) Paul Greengrass movies (kill me NOW)  |  IP: Logged Jeremy Jorgenson Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1002 From: Chicago, IL, USA Registered: Feb 2005 posted 05-08-2010 02:43 PM                        Garfield (boring) [Date, Epic or Disaster] Movie (bad, not funny) Nights in Rodanthe (just... bad)  |  IP: Logged Phil Hill I love my cootie bug Posts: 7595 From: Hollywood, CA USA Registered: Mar 2000 posted 05-08-2010 03:24 PM                  Some of mine off the top of my head (in no particular order) are: 2001 (boring - I fell asleep in the theatre and every time I tried to watch it on TV) The Lawnmower Man (boring - I fell asleep in the theatre) Anything from Pixar (yuck - I hate their animation) Howard the Duck (too stupit!) Eraserhead (Too Bizarre and depressing) Brazil (Too Weird) Steve Martin movies (yuck - the same old tired act over and over. The only exception is "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels". Eddie Murphy movies (His films all look alike - the only good ones are "Trading Places" and the original "Beverly Hills Cop". ALL(!) Dennis Quaid movies (Yucky poo poo) Anything by that slob Michael Moore (A total asshole) I'm sure I have more...  |  IP: Logged Mike Blakesley Film God Posts: 12767 From: Forsyth, Montana Registered: Jun 99 posted 05-08-2010 03:34 PM                        The third and fourth Airport movies. (I watched the second one the other night, it was actually pretty good) The 3rd and 4th Superman movies Blues Brothers 2000 All Jaws sequels Almost all movies based on TV shows of the 1960s, in particular the Beverly Hillbillies and Bewitched movies Wall-E (yes, I said it...I watched twice, loved the first 20 minutes, hated the rest, sue me)  |  IP: Logged Monte L Fullmer Film God Posts: 8367 From: Nampa, Idaho, USA Registered: Nov 2004 posted 05-08-2010 03:45 PM                     "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" - (1964) .. worst K/S ever could be... but a riot to watch.  |  IP: Logged Ian Price Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1714 From: Denver, CO Registered: Jun 99 posted 05-08-2010 04:23 PM                     OK, since I'm weird, old and like art films, I think I will throw you an obscure one. Any film by Pier Paolo Pasolini. I only saw two of them, but that was enough for me to swear off him forever. # Il fiore delle mille e una notte (1974) ... aka "Arabian Nights" - USA ... aka "Flower of the Arabian Nights" - International (English title) # I racconti di Canterbury (1972) ... aka "The Canterbury Tales" - USA He's all about accentuating the gross and perverse. The fart jokes, the shit jokes and then rubbing your nose in the shit. It gets old after a while.  |  IP: Logged Mike Blakesley Film God Posts: 12767 From: Forsyth, Montana Registered: Jun 99 posted 05-08-2010 04:46 PM                        About the time I started working at the Roxy, we were showing a movie called "Girls In Trouble." It was so bad that the owner started telling customers it was awful, and put up a sign saying "No refunds" after the first night.  |  IP: Logged Mark Lensenmayer Phenomenal Film Handler Posts: 1605 From: Upper Arlington, OH Registered: Sep 1999 posted 05-08-2010 04:54 PM                     NINE (The Musical) A Single Man Anything with Will Ferrell (except ELF) Land Before Time Russian Ark Ladykillers (Coen Brothers version) Road to Perdition Gone With The Wind (except the last 5 minutes)  |  IP: Logged Joe Redifer You need a beating today Posts: 12859 From: Denver, Colorado Registered: May 99 posted 05-08-2010 05:06 PM                        Babies - Who thought this would be a good idea? 4 reels of babies just doing their thing with no narration at all. It's like watching a home movie where nobody talks. Also, babies are repulsive! Synecdoche, New York - A pretentious "art" movie that is weird soley for the sake of being weird. I would rather be force-fed one of my own eyeballs than watch this thing again. I would rather have my arms and legs slowly sawed off with a rusty piece of sheet metal and then stapled back on in the wrong positions. I would rather all my skin be peeled off with an orange peeler. I'd even rather watch a Barbara Streisand movie. More to come when I have more time...  |  IP: Logged Brad Miller Administrator Posts: 17775 From: Plano, TX (36.2 miles NW of Rockwall) Registered: May 99 posted 05-08-2010 05:25 PM                     Joe, do they show the babies screaming at the top of their lungs? Do they show them puking and crapping everywhere? After all, everything babies do is cute and adorable. Worse than a Barbara Streisand movie? Really??? Wow.  |  IP: Logged Jonathan Althaus Master Film Handler Posts: 435 From: Bedford, TX Registered: Dec 2008 posted 05-08-2010 05:31 PM                     Blonde and Blonder Lord, Save Us From Your Followers Ironically, we still have these prints upstairs  |  IP: Logged Geoff Jones Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 579 From: Broomfield, CO, USA Registered: Feb 2006 posted 05-08-2010 05:42 PM                        Pretty much everything in the past 10 or 20 years...  |  IP: Logged Sam Graham AKA: "The Evil Sam Graham". Wackiness ensues. Posts: 1431 From: Waukee, IA Registered: Dec 2004 posted 05-08-2010 07:25 PM                        If I were King, I would demand every print, copy, VHS, DVD, or whatever of Armageddon be destroyed. That is the most appallingly bad movie ever made. Good Lord it was hideous. When you can screw up a scene with Liv Tyler in her underwear, you are a BAD FILM MAKER. Roland Emmerich's Godzilla comes in second for me. Just painful to watch. Then there's Pearl Harbor. The only good thing that came out of that movie was Roger Ebert's review... quote: Roger Ebert "Pearl Harbor" is a two-hour movie squeezed into three hours, about how on Dec. 7, 1941, the Japanese staged a surprise attack on an American love triangle. Its centerpiece is 40 minutes of redundant special effects, surrounded by a love story of stunning banality. The film has been directed without grace, vision, or originality, and although you may walk out quoting lines of dialog, it will not be because you admire them. Deep Impact - where about halfway through I turned to Wife #1 and said "I know you can't possibly believe this, but this is where it starts to get dumb". I'll end with Independence Day, which is actually far more watchable than anything I previously noted, but still sucks.  |  IP: Logged Caleb Johnstone-Cowan Jedi Master Film Handler Posts: 593 From: London, UK Registered: Mar 2006 posted 05-08-2010 07:43 PM                     Flightplan (pointless). Constantine (dull). Both Fantastic 4 films (no action). Death Proof (apart from the two killing and sexy bits). Spaceballs (one good gag right at the start but falls flat otherwise, can't make an entire film of Jew jokes and breaking the fourth wall). Year One (just didn't work). Inland Empire stands out as being the worst thing I've seen in recent memory in the Cinema. It was confusing for no reason other than to preserve David Lynch's reputation, and my High School short film shot on DVCam looked better. I contemplated walking out.  |  IP: Logged Monte L Fullmer Film God Posts: 8367 From: Nampa, Idaho, USA Registered: Nov 2004 posted 05-08-2010 08:24 PM                     ..can we add "Ishtar" in this pile of wasted celuloid?  |  IP: Logged

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