|
|
 
|
|
Author
|
Topic: 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' Spoiled by Naked Man's Pursuit for Sex and Crack
|
System Notices
Forum Watchdog / Soup Nazi
Posts: 215
Registered: Apr 2004
|
posted 01-04-2012 12:23 PM
'Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked' Spoiled by Naked Man's Pursuit for Sex and Crack
Source: iwatchstuff.com
quote:
A crowd hoping to sit down and enjoy Jason Lee screaming at sentient karaoke chipmunks received a shock last Thursday when a Chicago man stood up naked from the front row of a showing of Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, crossing the franchise's unwritten rule of only heavily implying chipmunk sexuality but never actually showing a dick.
The incident occurred only a half-hour into a showing of the film, barely allowing captivated audience members to settle into the intriguing premise that Jason Lee has taken his sentient rodent family on a tropical cruise for some reason. It was at around 4:30 that Edward L. Brown is accused of rising from his seat--at the time, seemingly roused by the powerful onscreen emotions--only to reveal that he was bare-ass naked. He further confirmed this fact by turning towards the 86-member audience and outstretching his arms--possibly inspired by Alvin's hilarious and timely Titanic reference (above)--before reportedly "sitting back down to enjoy the movie," Brown clearly curious to see how it is the chipmunks get stranded on an island now that everyone had seen his flaccid penis swaying in tune to The Chipettes' Willow Smith cover, "Whip My Tail."
Worsening the offense: it turns out Brown didn't even purchase a ticket to this squeakquel. According to his account, he'd been snuck in by an unknown female who had told him to get in the front row of Chipwrecked, take off his clothes, and wait for her to return with a bounty of crack, heroin, and intercourse for him. Front row of Alvin and the Chipmunks 3 is basically the new "behind the 7-11, back near the dumpster where those cameras can't sees ya."
Non-naked theater-goers were offered vouchers or refunds as compensation for their children being forever scarred by a crackhead's expectant nudity. Brown was jailed, his bail set at $100,000, "charged with three felony counts of sexual exploitation of children, aged 4, 6 and 6; one misdemeanor count of sexual exploitation of a minor aged 14; and one misdemeanor count of disorderly conduct," as there seems to be some expectation to keep your clothes on during the film, however provocatively the Chipettes may sway. Dave eventually showed up to the island to rescue the Chipmunks, because despite the trouble they cause him, he ultimately loves them all very, very much.
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Frank Angel
Film God
Posts: 5305
From: Brooklyn NY USA
Registered: Dec 1999
|
posted 01-08-2012 08:00 PM
Years ago I ran Fellini's SATYRICON and somewhere halfway through, I see something weird in the left hand corner of the screen. I couldn't exactly make out what it was, so I looked thru my binoculars and there was a student, evidently high on something, walked out on the stage naked. The film pretty much obscured him enough that lots of people hardly knew what was happening, until, of course, the cops made us stop the show and turn up the house lights Idiots. What a sight. Our stage manager, not much more than a kid himself, as was I, had placed himself between three cops and the naked terrified student who didn't even know where he was. Our stage manager told the cops in no uncertain terms that it was a school matter with a sick student and neither the performing arts center or the university had asked them on campus and we were not pressing charges. Then the full house, almost all 2500 of them were students, began booing the cops who finally declined to press it any further. A stagehand had come on stage with a blanket and covered and took the kid off stage and sobered him up. He's lucky our guys were there to intervene.
So I can tell you from experience, with a picture being projected on a naked person, it really is quite difficult to discern what is actually going on. This, of course is from an observation 200ft and 5 stories up from the stage. I suppose people sitting in the front rows get a better view, but to me, all I could see was what looked like something wrong with the print in the bottom corner of the screen.
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
All times are Central (GMT -6:00)
|
|
Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM
6.3.1.2
The Film-Tech Forums are designed for various members related to the cinema industry to express their opinions, viewpoints and testimonials on various products, services and events based upon speculation, personal knowledge and factual information through use, therefore all views represented here allow no liability upon the publishers of this web site and the owners of said views assume no liability for any ill will resulting from these postings. The posts made here are for educational as well as entertainment purposes and as such anyone viewing this portion of the website must accept these views as statements of the author of that opinion
and agrees to release the authors from any and all liability.
|
Home
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic