posted 03-02-2012 01:49 PM                

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Last year, China's 3D porn Sex and Zen 3D: Extreme Ecstasy famously topped Avatar's opening day gross in Hong Kong, proving the horny populace of Asia would rather see some three-dimensional tits than admire the unmemorable contours of Sam Worthington's head. But Sex and Zen producers aren't content to merely top James Cameron in being Hong Kong's superior purveyor of 3D erotica--like Cameron, they want to innovate, while they masturbate. So, for the Sex and Zen sequel (of course there's going to be a sequel), they're taking it to the FOURTH DIMENSION. Surprisingly, the fourth dimension of porn is not smell.

Producer Stephen Shiu Jr. claims the sequel--tentatively titled 4D Sex and Zen: Slayer of a Thousand from the Mysterious East, until they can come up with a better euphemism for fucking a thousand Asian ladies--will make use of the motion technology within the seats, already installed in at least one Hong Kong theater, to give audiences a physical sensation outside their discreet, in-pant masturbation. Porn-loving audiences will occasionally be jostled by vibrations set to go off at certain points in the film, thus simulating the sexual excitement of realizing you've been sitting on the spare Wii remote. Progress!

Shiu claims the sequel will also address complaints from those who thought the 3D sex wasn't filthy enough for the modern internet age of pornography. According to the producer, "This time we will be paying more attention to that, and will be enlisting the aid of [porn?] experts from Japan to direct these scenes." Because, despite any conflicts they've had with Japan, even China has to admit those guys are the experts when it comes to making some fucked up filthy shit. Expect 3D tentacles as the baseline.

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