Random News Stories

[Leo Enticknap]

This is an old one (specifically, the Sunday Sport of October 6, 2013, p. 7), but a good one:

[Dave Macaulay]

Ontario today declared cannabis shops non-essential and they must close. Beer and booze remain essential.

[Frank Cox]

Both liquor and marijuana stores have been declared essential in Saskatchewan, but not vaping stores. So you can get drunk or high but you can't vape, apparently.

There's a vaping store just down the street from me, actually. He's still operating but with a small table and a rock set up in front of the door of his shop. According to the sign on the table, you are to send him a text to tell him what you want and, if you're paying with cash, put your money under the rock. Then you go to sit in your car and he will bring your product and your change out in a bag and put it on the table. After he goes back inside you can leave your car and pick up your stuff from the table. He will then come out again after you're gone and disinfect the table and the rock before the next customer.

I had to stop and read the sign on his table when I went past the other day because it seemed like such a long and involved process. But I guess he must figure it's worth his while to do it that way, and I suppose he can argue that he's not actually doing any customer-facing transactions that way.

[Leo Enticknap]

Marijuana retailing has been declared an essential business by the Governor of California, so he'd have been OK here!

[Frank Cox]

COVID-19: Hamilton police arrest alleged drug dealer — for violating shutdown of non-essential businesses

https://nationalpost.com/news/covid-...ial-businesses

Hamilton police charged an alleged street drug dealer with violating the COVID-19 emergency declaration for conducting a non-essential business during the pandemic shutdown.

The 29-year-old man was also charged with drug trafficking and proceeds of crime charges.

Members of the Hamilton police drug unit were in the city’s east end when they saw a black Jeep Grand Cherokee being driven in an aggressive manner on Friday. Officers discovered the vehicle was improperly plated and began monitoring its movements, police said.

The officers watched the Jeep stop several times as the driver pulled over to conduct drug transactions as he drove through the entire downtown core, police allege. Shortly before 8:00 p.m., it stopped at a commercial business in the city’s west end, near McMaster University.

A condition under the order includes all non-essential businesses to cease functioning.

The driver was arrested for drug trafficking. During a search, police said they found further evidence to support criminal charges: cocaine valued at $3,400 divided into a number of small plastic bags, along with $5,690 in Canadian currency and $20 in U.S. currency, police said.

He was then also notified of the unusual charge of violating the Emergency Management and Civil Protection Act.

“Currently, due to COVID-19, a declaration of emergency has been enacted under the Emergency Management and Civil Protection Act. A condition under the order includes all non-essential businesses to cease functioning,” Const. Jerome Stewart said.

“He was issued the ticket simply because the business he was operating is not considered essential.”

[Leo Enticknap]

Unconventional responses to the coronavirus thus far have included the guy in Arizona who drank fish tank cleaner (believing that, because it contained quinine, it would help to prevent him from catching the bug), hundreds of Indians drinking methanol for the same reason, and someone who was arrested by the FBI while preparing to blow up his local hospital, the rationale being that if it no longer existed, then neither would the risk of infection in his neighborhood. But this has to be the wackiest yet (link to story):

An Australian astrophysicist was hospitalized with magnets stuck up his nose while trying to create a necklace that will warn people when they touch their face so that they don’t become infected with the Chinese virus.

Australian astrophysicist Daniel Reardon was hospitalized after getting four magnets stuck up his nose while trying to invent a device that would help prevent people avoid behaviors associated with contracting the Wuhan coronavirus such as touching their face, according to a report by the Guardian.

“I have some electronic equipment but really no experience or expertise in building circuits or things,” said Reardon to Guardian Australia.

“I thought that if I built a circuit that could detect the magnetic field, and we wore magnets on our wrists, then it could set off an alarm if you brought it too close to your face. A bit of boredom in isolation made me think of that,” he added.

The report added that the 27-year-old astrophysicist, who is a research fellow at a Melbourne university, had been creating a necklace that sounds an alarm when the wearer touches their face.

“I accidentally invented a necklace that buzzes continuously unless you move your hand close to your face,” said Reardon.

“After scrapping that idea, I was still a bit bored, playing with the magnets,” he added. “It’s the same logic as clipping pegs to your ears — I clipped them to my earlobes and then clipped them to my nostril and things went downhill pretty quickly when I clipped the magnets to my other nostril.”

The astrophysicist said that he had placed two magnets inside his nose, and then two on the outside, and that when he removed the magnets from the outside of his nose, the two inside had gotten stuck together.

Then, Reardon then decided to use his two remaining magnets to try to remove the magnets inside his nose, according to the Guardian.

“At this point, my partner who works at a hospital was laughing at me,” said Reardon. “I was trying to pull them out, but there is a ridge at the bottom of my nose you can’t get past.”

“After struggling for 20 minutes, I decided to Google the problem and found an article about an 11-year-old boy who had the same problem,” added the astrophysicist. “The solution in that was more magnets — to put on the outside to offset the pull from the ones inside.”

Reardon noted that he tried to add more magnets, but they, too got stuck in his nose, and he couldn’t add more magnets because he “ran out of magnets.”

“As I was pulling downwards to try and remove the magnets, they clipped on to each other and I lost my grip,” said Reardon. “And those two magnets ended up in my left nostril while the other one was in my right.”

“At this point, I ran out of magnets,” he added.

So then, the astrophysicist attempted to remove the magnets with a pair of pliers, only to have those become magnetized to the magnets inside his nose as well.

“Every time I brought the pliers close to my nose, my entire nose would shift towards the pliers and then the pliers would stick to the magnet. It was a little bit painful at this point.”

From there, Reardon said that his partner took him to the hospital because “she wanted all her colleagues to laugh at me.”

“The doctors thought it was quite funny, making comments like ‘This is an injury due to self-isolation and boredom.'” said the astrophysicist.

Two doctors ended up manually removing the magnets using an anesthetic spray, reports the Guardian.

“When they got the three out from the left nostril, the last one fell down my throat,” said Reardon. “That could have been a bit of a problem if I swallowed or breathed it in, but I was thankfully able to lean forward and cough it out.”

“Needless to say I am not going to play with the magnets any more,” he added.

[Leo Enticknap]

Those of you who followed the random news stories thread on the old forum may remember that I posted an article reporting on a previous attempt by "Mad Mike" Hughes (in March 2018), an eccentric in the tradition of Lawnchair Larry, to prove that the earth is flat, by launching himself in a steam-powered rocket from the Southern Californian desert, to see for himself. Of course he could have just handed over $100 to Southwest Airlines and gone up in a 737 from Ontario (which would likely have proven to his satisfaction that the earth is flat, because a 737 can't go high enough to get anywhere near the Kármán Line), but that would just be too boring, wouldn't it? Anyways, Hughes tried again last week: sadly, for the last time. This from Popular Mechanics:

Daredevil Dies in Failed Homemade Rocket Launch to Prove Earth Is Flat

Guinness World Record holder "Mad" Mike Hughes was 64.
Daredevil "Mad" Mike Hughes died Saturday, February 22 after his homemade rocket crashed into the ground outside of Barstow, California. Hughes launched himself inside the steam-powered rocket in hopes that he might sail high enough into the atmosphere to prove that the Earth is flat. He was 64.

Several journalists, along with many of the rocketeer’s friends—including longtime collaborator Wade Stakes, according to The Washington Post—were on hand to witness the launch and sadly captured its swift failure. Freelance journalist Justin Chapman tweeted a video of the crash. (Warning: Some viewers may find the video disturbing.)

Mad Mike Hughes just launched himself in a self-made steam-powered rocket and crash landed. Very likely did not survive. #MadMike #MadMikeHughes pic.twitter.com/svtviTEi8f
— Justin Chapman (@justindchapman) February 22, 2020

Seconds after launch, a parachute can be seen fluttering away from the speeding rocket, which quickly turned back toward Earth. “When the rocket was nosediving and he didn't release the three other parachutes he had in the rocket, lots of people screamed out and started wailing,” Chapman told BuzzFeed News. “Everyone was stunned when he crashed and didn't know what to do.”

Hughes aimed to reach the Kármán Line, where Earth's atmosphere and outer space meet, 62 miles above the ground. From there, Hughes claimed he'd be able to tell whether the Earth is a flat disk (as he suspected) or a sphere. The steam-driven rocket included three heaters that would produce enough steam to thrust the stuntman at least 5,000 feet into the air. He hoped to reach top speeds of up to 425 miles per hour.

The limousine driver-turned-daredevil got his start by conducting a series of high-octane stunts that shocked and enthralled viewers. Hughes is the Guinness World Record holder for the longest limousine ramp jump (103 feet in a stretch Lincoln Town Car) and has gained fame over the years for performing a series of other stunts. A 2014 rocket launch took him to 1,374 feet, according to Associated Press reports at the time.

In recent years, Hughes's efforts turned toward unraveling a conspiracy theory that has endured for centuries.

[Leo Enticknap]

From The Guardian:

Virtuoso mourns beloved £150,000 piano smashed by movers

2480.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=f5e7326fba0747cf07c5e2638b455fe3.jpg
Angela Hewitt’s unique F278 Fazioli was destroyed in an attempt to lift it on to a trolley


A unique piano which was treasured by the Canadian virtuoso Angela Hewitt as her “best friend” was broken beyond repair when it was dropped by specialist instrument movers.

The expensive accident happened late last month after Hewitt finished recording Beethoven’s piano variations at a studio in Berlin. She said it left her in such shock that it took her 10 days before she could announce the news to her followers.

In a Facebook post Hewitt said her F278 Fazioli, the only one in the world fitted with four pedals, and worth at least £150,000, was “kaputt”. She said: “I hope my piano will be happy in piano heaven.”
The broken instrument was inspected by the firm’s Italian founder, Paolo Fazioli, who declared it “unsalvageable”. The piano’s iron frame smashed when the 590kg instrument dropped as movers tried to lift it on to a trolley. The force of the break, compounded by the high tensions in the piano’s strings, was so strong that it split the piano’s lid in two.

“It makes no sense, financially or artistically, to rebuild this piano from scratch. It’s kaputt,” Hewitt said.

The accident left Hewitt in mourning. She said: “I adored this piano. It was my best friend, best companion. I loved how it felt when I was recording – giving me the possibility to do anything I wanted.”

The unnamed firm of movers was “mortified” by the accident, she said. “In 35 years of doing their job, this had never happened before,” she wrote. “At least nobody was hurt.”

Hewitt, who the Guardian described as “one of the great Bach interpreters of our day” had used the piano on all her European recordings since 2003, including a celebrated recent performance of Bach’s six partitas. They are all that remains of the piano.

Hewitt, who divides her time between London and a home near Lake Trasimeno in central Italy, said an “insurance saga” was already under way which she hoped would be resolved quickly so that she could find a replacement.

Terence Lewis, co-owner of London’s Jaques Samuel Pianos, who has supplied other Faziolis to Hewitt and spoke to her about the accident said the destruction of the piano was “like losing a limb”.

He said: “Every single piano is different and you grow with them and they change as they age and you develop together. For a pianist at that level a piano becomes an extension of your body and that’s why she dragged it around for her recordings.”

Lewis is responsible for providing Faziolis in London venues for international pianists including Daniil Trifonov and Herbie Hancock. He played Hewitt’s piano when it was made in the early 2000s at the Fazioli factory in Sacile north-east of Venice.

“I know this piano really well,” he said, “I practised on it for a three or four hours after it was made.”

Lewis said its four pedals made it unique among pianos of this model, which are worth £150,000 new. “Paolo [Fazioli] says he will never fit four pedals ever again to it [a F278] because it was such a pain in the arse.”
Lewis said he felt for the moving firm involved. “Accidents do unfortunately happen, but this was a very big one. She would not have let it be moved by anyone she didn’t trust. She was very happy with them. I would have cried if I’d been involved. They must feel terrible because they would understand what the instrument means to her.”

He pointed out that if the piano had not been damaged, Hewitt could have sold it for more than any other second-hand Fazioli of its age. “What would have added value is that fact that it was the great lady’s piano, because she is the goddess of the piano. If that piano went to auction unbroken that would have given it a very large premium.”

He added: “Faziolis are truly handmade. They make up to 150 a year. It is absolutely bespoke, incredible quality. Once pianists start using Fazioli they become dedicated to them.

“I spoke to Paolo [Fazioli] and he said, no, it’s absolutely dead. He is sad because it is one of his creations. And he is sad for Angela, but it’s life there is not a lot you can do about it.”

A spokeswoman for Fazioli said the firm could not comment. She said: “Unfortunately, in such a circumstance we cannot give information about the instrument value, since an insurance investigation is in progress.”

If she decides that this is the cue for a career change, the insurance money would probably just about buy her a Barco L-series...

590 kilos (1,300 pounds and six ounces) - oof! I don't look forward to the heavy lifting involved in installing projectors, and have occasionally wondered about the consequences of dropping one. But I can't think of any that heavy! The Philips DP70/Norelco AA was said to be 1,004lb including the OEM pedestal and magazines, so with a lamphouse it would be close, but I don't know of any digital projector that would come in at even half that.

[Leo Enticknap]

Police spokeshole quote in Frank's goat story:

All kidding aside...

Groan.

Reminds me of a naughty limerick that circulated when I was in high school:

A man in a long overcoat
attempted to bugger a goat.
But his groin took a whack
when the creature kicked back,
and he now has a very sore scrote.

[Frank Cox]

https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/04/us/fl...rnd/index.html

A Florida traffic stop turned into a surprise narcotics bust after police found what looked to be a bag full of drugs in the car.
The clue?

It was labeled "Bag Full Of Drugs."

A Florida Highway Patrol trooper made the stop after observing a car going 25 miles per hour over the limit Saturday, the Santa Rosa County Sheriff's Office said.
A Sheriff's K-9 arrived at the scene and alerted police to the presence of contraband inside.That's when police said they found the narcotics -- there were approximately 75 grams of methamphetamine, 1.36 kilograms of GHB, 1 gram of cocaine, 3.6 grams of fentanyl, 15 MDMA tablets and drug paraphernalia.

"Note to self- do not traffic your illegal narcotics in bags labeled 'Bag Full Of Drugs,'" a Facebook post from the Sheriff's office read. "Our K-9's can read."

200204145905-florida-bag-full-of-drugs-trnd-exlarge-169.jpg

[Frank Angel]

This is just dumb

Hey, no surprise; to paraphrase Mr. Heston, "It's people...dumb is people!".

[Frank Cox]

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottaw...goat-1.5448283

Police search for child in distress turns up screaming goat instead

When Ottawa police went to check out a report of a child calling for help in the city's rural west end last week, they didn't find the kid — but they did get their goat. On the evening of Jan. 27, officers responded to a call from a resident who said he heard the sound of a child calling for help coming from a wooded area near his property.
They searched, but they neither heard nor saw a child in distress. The officers went to check with neighbours, and at one house found a woman with her three children all accounted for.
When the father arrived, he told police his goat had been screaming earlier, and when he went to investigate he found the animal with its head stuck in a fence.
"The farmer said the sound could be mistaken for a child screaming. He led the officers to the area and sure enough, it was exactly where the complainant reported the sound coming from," police said in a news release.
"All kidding aside, police are reminding residents to report suspicious activity immediately so we can check it out. It's always better to be safe than sorry."

[Leo Enticknap]

Thanks to the Marx Brothers, I've heard of duck soup ... but bat soup?! This from NewsHub (New Zealand):

Sickening footage of a woman eating a bat in the Chinese city of Wuhan has gone viral as the country is ravaged by the deadly coronavirus, where scientists believe bats to be a major carrier. The virus is linked back to the sprawling city's food markets, where various animal species are sold such as dogs, pigs, chickens, bats, snakes, and even koalas.

Experts have said that bats are the original hosts of the virus, where they then spread it to other animals and onto humans, reports Business Insider. And horrifyingly, the flying mammal was being sold and consumed at a restaurant at Wuhan’s Huanana seafood market where the video was filmed. Video shows the woman beginning to nibble at the bat’s wings.

So far, the coronavirus has killed 25 people and infected more than 830 says the National Health Commission and Wuhan, a city of 11 million people where the new strain of the virus began, has been put under lockdown. This newly identified virus has created fear due to it being not very well understood. There is no vaccine for the virus and symptoms include fever, difficulty breathing and coughing, similar to many other respiratory illnesses. Identifying a source of the virus is vital to establish a treatment.

[Leo Enticknap]

From Ars Technica:

Cooler Master is tired of telling parents their kids aren’t on drugs Goodbye, dedicated paste-spreading tool—and hello, wide-tipped applicator.

Early this morning, Cooler Master tweeted a picture of its new spade-tipped thermal compound applicators and captioned it "we didn't change the shape of the syringe to make applying thermal paste a lot easier, but because we're getting tired of having to explain to parents that their kid isn't using drugs."

It took the Ars staff a few minutes of grappling with Poe's Law to figure out if they were serious or not. On the one hand, how many parents would really mistake thermal compound for a medical syringe? On the other hand... the world's a big place, and as recently as 2015, I needed to tell parents en masse that the most prevalent server operating system on the planet isn't malware, so who knows? But Cooler Master is probably just joining the likes of Wendy's, Denny's, and Old Spice on Snarky Brand Twitter.

What we're sure of is that the spade-tipped applicator looks a lot more pleasant to use than the general purpose closed-needle-tip syringe senior techs and enthusiasts have been grappling with for ecades. If you're not accustomed to it, thermal compound is thick, goopy, and an absolute nightmare to clean off of any credit card you unwisely use to try to spread a thin film of it evenly across your new CPU, as guides have advised for as long as thermal compound has existed. (Some techs keep a "fake" credit card around for just this purpose, which at least lets them get some use out of spam credit card offers.)

Spreading the thermal compound manually isn't necessarily a real requirement—as PC Gamer recommends, a pea-sized blob of compound squeezed directly onto the center of the CPU will be squashed out into the requisite thin paste by the pressure of the heat sink alone. And if you're a PC tech who swaps out a heatsink or CPU once a day, you'll get the hang of that method quickly enough—but most people, even hardware enthusiasts, won't do a heat sink replacement more often than once every couple of years.

We think Cooler Master's new applicator looks like a real win for people who don't feel sure enough of the "blob it and hope" method.

syringe.PNG

If there are parents who believe that syringes of thermal paste are drugs, then they will really freak out if their kids ever get their hands on an inkjet cartridge refill kit (which also includes needles)...

[Leo Enticknap]

Continuing from the old forum discussion on LED billboards, this from Engadget:

Hackers made a Detroit interstate billboard play a porn scene

Nobody was injured during the incident. Drivers in Auburn Hills, Michigan, got a heck of a surprise last Saturday night when an electronic billboard starting playing porn. The billboard, located alongside I-75 North between University Drive and highway M-59 in Auburn Hills, began playing the X-rated movie not long before midnight. It was shut down after 20 minutes, when police made contact with the sign's owner, Triple Communications.

Unlike previous billboard shockers, this was definitely not a paid-for stunt. Auburn Hills Police Department has since released a photograph and video of two men suspected of breaking into the billboard's control room and hacking its computer. If found, the pair could face a possible penalty of 90 days in jail, and/or a $500 fine for promoting pornography, as well as potential burglary charges for forcing entry to the building.

Reports in local media have repeatedly noted how dangerous the incident was, with many rubbernecking drivers slowing down to gawp and film the scene, creating numerous opportunities for accidents. Princess Leia, one of the adult film actresses featured in the movie, told Vice she was relieved that no-one was hurt. "It is my sincere hope that this will open a larger public discussion regarding the safety of electronic billboards," she said.

I'm surprised that the porn "actress" who named herself after a Star Bores character hasn't been sued for copyright and/or trademark infringement.