The sad decline of a customer

[Frank Cox]

There's a big black guy who started coming to the show here a few years back. Always by himself. Nothing in particular ever stood out about him and I've never had any conversation or interaction with him past saying hello and telling him how much to pay for his ticket and popcorn.

About six months ago he started coming with a skinny white guy and based on how they interact I assumed they're a gay couple. The white guy seemed a bit manic and jumpy but whatever; not my problem.

Unfortunately, the black guy has been going rapidly downhill ever since. I think he's on drugs. Both of them have gotten really dirty and smelly, the white guy does all of the talking and the paying now, and when they came last night I don't think the black guy knew if he was at the movie or on the moon. And when they came out after the show I saw that he had peed his pants.

Frankly, I'd prefer that they didn't come here any more but I don't think I can bar them since they haven't really done anything bad here other than being dirty. I don't know either of these guys but I feel sorry for the black guy because he seemed pretty normal until he got together with this other guy. The way it's going I suspect he'll be dead soon.

I don't know their names or anything about them but they're both adults, probably in their 30's, so I guess they're entitled to go to hell in their own way if they choose, but it seems very sad to me to see this happening to someone who appeared to be pretty normal just a few months ago.

[Mark Ogden]

Unfortunately, the black guy has been going rapidly downhill ever since. I think he's on drugs. Both of them have gotten really dirty and smelly, the white guy does all of the talking and the paying now, and when they came last night I don't think the black guy knew if he was at the movie or on the moon. And when they came out after the show I saw that he had peed his pants.

I don't know if the laws in Canada are the same as in the US, but here a business owner has the right to deny admission to anyone whose personal hygiene (or lack thereof) causes offense to any other patrons. If this guy smells that bad, and he is urinating in the theatre, then you should be able to legally deny them admission. It may be upsetting to do so, but there it is.

[Frank Cox]

I'm giving that serious consideration. I really hate that sort of confrontation, but I'm working on convincing myself to tell them that the next time they show up here.

[Randy Stankey]

My late father-in-law was asked not to come back to Ponderosa Steak House because of his lack of hygiene.

Old George was your typical "smelly old man" who never took a bath or shower, basically because he was old, stubborn and didn't think he should have to bathe if he didn't want to. Whenever my wife and I went to visit him, we took him out to lunch. He always insisted on going to Ponderosa. I never thought much of Ponderosa but, what the hell... that's where he wanted to go. We went there so often that George was considered a regular who everybody knew by name.

Finally, one day, the manager came over say that customers were complaining and that George should either take a bath or else he wouldn't be welcome, anymore.

Well, George got up, walked out of the place and that was the last time we ever went to Ponderosa.

From then on, we went to Golden Corral.

[Mike Blakesley]

I thought the thread was going to be about a regular moviegoer who was getting up in years. I've had a lot of them, considering we're in a small town and I know anyone who's been here for a long time. It's sad to see them getting older. Sometimes they stop coming to the movies, but not always. We had one lady who died at 103 last year --- she went to her last movie when she was 101!

Anyway, I agree with Mark - it won't be a pleasant conversation and could get loud, so keep the local police on your speeddial in case you need them.

One thing you might consider is asking the local cops about this couple. It's a good chance they know about them and might be able to give you advice on how to handle it.

[Ed Gordon]

"You have been a good customer for years, but lately you appear to be inebriated and your personal hygiene may affect my other customers. Here are two free tickets to use for your next visit, which will only be valid when you a clean and sober."

[Randy Stankey]

I think that there is something else to consider. The customer in question might have some sort of degenerative disease like Alzheimer's Disease or Parkinson's Disease or something. His lack of hygiene might be a result of that. The other guy, who comes with him, might be his caretaker, his partner or both. The reason for that guy's lack of hygiene is unknown. It could be poverty, it could be because of his own health problems or he could simply be a slovenly person. Who knows? The two of them could have AIDS or something. We don't know and, at this point, we have no way of knowing.

I'm not trying to label anybody or pigeon hole people. I'm simply pointing out that there might be alternative explanations what we don't know about.

If you are concerned about this guy's well being, you might try contacting your local Social Services agency to see if they know of this person. They might. Even if they do know, privacy rules might prevent them from disclosing any personal information.

If I was in this situation, I would try to make some phone calls, so to speak, to see whether any local agency has this person on their radar. I would take the approach of saying that you have a "good customer" who you have noticed has fallen into a state of decline and, as a Good Samaritan, you want to do what you can and see to it that he's gets the help he needs. Yeah, yeah... I know... Horse... Water... If a person declines the help of others there isn't much you can do unless they are in danger of hurting themselves or others or unless the person is abjectly unable to care for themself.

It's a fine line but I also think it's important on the grounds of human respect and looking out for your fellow man.

Alternately, you could simply talk to the person and find out who they are. He is a good customer. Right? Well, talk to him!

In that conversation, you could diplomatically bring up the fact that, over the time you have seen him, you have noticed that his health seems to have "fallen off" and express some concern.

If, during one of these conversations, one or the other of these people becomes difficult, acts belligerent or causes a scene in front of other customers, NOW you have reason to tell him not to come back.

A little "CYA," if you will...

[Lyle Romer]

My opinion is that it doesn't matter to a business owner what has caused this man's deterioration and that the situation should be handled purely from a business perspective. The next time the duo/couple/whatever shows up in that condition, calmly and politely tell them that you can not sell them a ticket due to poor hygiene and the effect on other patrons. Let them know that they are more than welcome to come back after taking a shower or bath and changing into clean clothing.

As far as the human side of it, if you want to try and see if you can get some help for the guy, I'd recommend contacting a local social services office or the police department and alerting them to your observations. They may have the ability to get into contact with the man and offer assistance with whatever he is dealing with.

[Randy Stankey]

Just to make it clear, I am not suggesting that anybody fawn over this guy. As I said, there might be some underlying issues at the root of this problem and, if the guy needs help, the proper people or agencies could be notified. I am, in no way, suggesting that anybody should take it upon themselves. That would be like touching a tar baby. Ask around and, maybe, make a couple of phone calls. That is as far as I suggest anybody go. Even that, I would consider to be sticking one's neck out. I am just suggesting to have a little concern for others and to think about things before jumping to conclusions.

If the guy is disrupting your business, yes, he should be dealt with. If the solution is to tell the guy to take a bath or don't come back then so be it. Yes, a movie theater is a business and, as a business owner, one has the responsibility to make the place where you invite people to visit comfortable for all. If there is one outlier who makes the theater uncomfortable for others then you are responsible to manage the situation.

I started off by relating a story about my father-in-law who got kicked out of a restaurant for being smelly. Didn't I?

I was trying to suggest just talking to the guy. I'm sorry that you didn't pick up on that. I must not have been clear enough. Simply just talk to him. Yes! It's that easy!

Just talk for two minutes. Find out who he is. Get some information. Who knows? He might just be a nice guy caught in a bad situation. You'll never know unless you talk to the person.

Then, once you've talked, found out some things, gained a little insight and, maybe, made a few phone calls, you'll be in a better position to decide on how to proceed. This is what I meant by mentioning "CYA."

Rhetorically speaking, you could just strut right up to the guy and say, "Hey! Pig Pen! You're stinking up my theater! Go take a bath or get the hell out!" What will that achieve? Nothing but starting an argument! It could get you into legal hot water, too!

On the other side of the coin, if you talk to the guy, find out who he is, gain some information, show some concern for others and, if appropriate, offer a modicum of help where appropriate, you will be able to make a better, informed, rational decision on how to proceed.

If the unfortunate situation occurs and you have to "dis-invite" somebody you'll have a better leg to stand on.

You will be able to say, "I tried to be nice. I tried to communicate with you. I even offered you help but you aren't being reciprocal in this transaction. Now, I have to put my foot down. You can't come back to this place of business unless you take a bath, first."

It all starts with saying, "Hello!"

[Dennis Benjamin]

I have managed many a movie theatre in my day. One of the things I've always done is learn the first name of all of my regular customers.