"The septic system has quit"

[Frank Cox]

A friend of mine came to the show tonight and told me a story that's too good not to share here.

His son phoned him earlier today and said that his septic system had quit and he thinks the line has collapsed.

So Bill goes over there with his air compressor and pressures up the line a bit and tells his son to go outside and see if he can hear or see anything. "But whatever you do don't stand in front of the outlet."

The son comes back inside and says nothing's going on out there, so put in a bit more air. Bill does so, the son goes outside again and yells, "Still nothing, give it a bit more."

BANG! SPALOOSH!

Turned out the line was just blocked.

Bill said that since he had told him the first time don't stand in front of the outlet he figured he didn't have to say it the second time.

But he had been standing with his ear right in front of the outlet.

Bill said that he told him they should reenact that for a video but he declined.

[Ryan Gallagher]

Is Bill's son of the tik-tok generation? Only that generation would come away from that experience wanting to do it again, for the views.

[Mark Gulbrandsen]

Monty Python should have done that on one of their movies...????

[Leo Enticknap]

A variant of this happened in a little arthouse I worked at in south-west England in the mid '90s. The restrooms were on one side of the lobby, and for a period of several months, a mild pooey smell had been getting gradually worse in the lobby, concessions stand and box office area. In the middle of the lobby was a cover in the floor, about 2" square. Until one night, we had no idea what was underneath it.

The lucky escape that one night was that the following happened while both screens were mid-show, and therefore no-one was standing anywhere near the cover. As it was reported to me, there was a loud "pop," the cover blew off 2-3 feet, and a shower of sewage burst into the lobby. It turns out that below that cover was the main sewage drain connecting the restrooms with the sewer that ran along the street. Its lining had collapsed, "content" had built up behind the blockage, and eventually the inevitable happened. We were closed for several days while the lobby and Screen 2 were dug up to repair the sewage line. The lingering smell took months to disperse fully, despite the use of heavy duty air fresheners all over the downstairs lobby area.