Moana 2 (2024)

[Mike Blakesley]

I have not watched this movie yet because we've just been too busy. This thing is a phenomenon! I don't understand why. It doesn't seem to be anything super special -- in fact, it famously originated in a TV series that was in development for Disney+, until the original movie became the most-watched thing on that platform in 2023, so Disney, in their money-grubbing wisdom, decided to turn it into a full-blown theatrical release.

That's probably a good thing. They most likely took the best ideas from all the crap they'd strung together to make a TV series and distilled it into one movie, rather than creating the movie from the ground up. Maybe that's a good blueprint for future success: Write about 20 stories, along with about 40 subplots, that would each make a good TV episode; discard the worst of it, and you might have a decent movie.

Except I don't know if this is a decent movie or not. The critics don't really like it, I can tell you that. But the audiences we've had are universally praising it. We've had people in for this movie that hardly go to any movies. And everyone going out is saying how they loved it. We have had two shows every day for the first five days (except just one on Thanksgiving), and out of the nine shows we've been sold out six times. I don't think that even happened with Top Gun Maverick.

I suppose things will return to normal during the school week, but next weekend will likely be decent too. So I'm not sure when we'll get a chance to sit down and actually watch it, but when we do, a full review will follow. For now, though, just based on the number of butts in the seats, I'll give it a 3.5 out of four. (Half a star deducted for one really annoying song in the middle.)

[Mike Blakesley]

I still haven't really watched this movie, but people are liking it and it's getting good crowds.

One thing I've noticed is that Disney animated movie songs are all starting to sound the same. There are always the same package of tunes, not always in the same order but they're all usually there. You could create a Bingo game with Disney song lyrics.

1. The opening "Life is great in this place we live in" type of song -- upbeat and peppy, sung by the (usually female these days) hero and her friends. Example: "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" from "Frozen," or "Whistle While You Work" from the original "Snow White."

2. The song about whatever conflict is going to arise in the movie -- foreboding, and either sung by the villain, or by the hero in sort of a defiant mode. The one this this movie is called "Beyond" and features the line "I am MOANA!" You wouldn't have found gripping lyrics like that in "Sleeping Beauty" or "Cinderella."

3. The expository filler -- this is when they realize they haven't really explained why the conflict exists in the first place, or why the hero could possibly be expected to fail. In this movie, it's "What Could Be Better Than This," which is basically covering most of the same ground as the first song. Really a better example is "Hakuna Matata" from "The Lion King."

3. The song that sets up the conflect, but from the opposite side of the song in number 2. It tries to explain why the villain is being such a dick. A great example is "Poor Unfortunate Souls" from "The Little Mermaid." If the hero sang #2, the villain will sing this one. OR, this could be replaced by the "travel" song, which takes place when the protagonists are on whatever journey they're going to be on.

4. The "you can do it, you know you can" type of song. Sung by the sidekick to the hero. In this case, it's Dwayne Johnson and he can't sing, so it's basically talk-sung. It's actually catchy.

5. The dramatic ballad in which the hero shows her steely determination that she's going to WIN this fight, dammit, no matter what. This is usually a standalone song that's expected to be a hit single, like "Let It Go" from "Frozen." This can either appear right before the big fight at the end, or it can also show up early in the movie to let everyone know that THIS gal is not to be messed with, hence further setting up the conflict.

6. The "Let's kick ass" song, sung right before the final battle, race, contest or whatever's going to resolve the conflict happens. Can either be sung by the hero or the villain and her friends.

7. The ending "Life is great again thanks to (hero's name)!" song, which is sung by the hero, her friends, and the entire population of the kingdom, island, land, planet or whatever entity that's been saved for now, until the next sequel. This song usually echoes the first song.

Of course there are usuallly other tunes sprinkled in, usually sung by supporting characters that are turned into plush toys in the stores. These are songs that can be cut out to create a TV-with-commercials version for ABC.

I started thinking about all of this when I saw the trailer for the upcoming "Snow White," which features a song that is a dead ringer for one of the songs in "Moana 2." Sometimes these thoughts make me think I'm turning into a curmudgeon, although I'll never be as good at that as the late and beloved Sam Graham.