Random News Stories

[Frank Cox]

Here's one to go with the panties:

https://canoe.com/news/weird/man-put...3-4b162daf3f51

Man puts phone charger up his penis, requires surgery
An Indian man admitted to hospital with abdominal pain had inserted a mobile phone charger cable into his manhood, a doctor who treated him told CNN.

The man went to a hospital in northeastern India claiming he had ingested some earphones, said the hospital’s general surgeon, Dr. Walliul Islam.

Doctors had to perform surgery when the cord didn’t appear despite the patient being prescribed laxatives.

“He came to us after five days (and) despite passing stool several times the cable did not come out,’’ Islam told CNN. “We then conducted an endoscopy but still couldn’t find anything.

“As the patient complained of severe pain, we decided to perform surgery and found that there was nothing in his intestine.”

An X-ray revealed the man to have a two-foot-long charging cable in his bladder, which was inserted via his urethra, the tube that leads from the penis to the bladder.

[Ed Gordon]

A Diner Turned Drive-In in Queens

The owners of Astoria’s Bel Aire Diner have adapted to the pandemic by hosting drive-in movies in their parking lot, where they serve such classic fare as mozzarella sticks and “Pulp Fiction” sliders.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2...e-in-in-queens

[Marcel Birgelen]

And another novel coronavirus treatment from Iran. Drinking camel's piss can help you beat the bug ... but only when it's fresh and warm!

Ah, Breitbart, nothing wrong with a new conspiracy theory every next day. It's unfortunate they're reporting that camel piss doesn't seem to work, otherwise you'd probably be able to buy camel piss in capsules from Alex Jones by now.

But I've eaten camel meat once, without even knowing it. It's pretty common in the middle east. While it may sound strange to "western folks", people tend to eat what they have available.

[John Eickhof]

moving AA2s was quite a task, we used two 2x4 boards bolted to the top of the head and two to four men would share the load...that was just the projector head only! the base at least broke down in a couple pieces...very heavy none the less!

[Randy Stankey]

Apparently some people pay big money for that sort of thing

A pair of panties worn by a sweaty, old Ukrainian woman isn’t something I would pay for unless it was to be as far away from them as possible.

[Leo Enticknap]

The best comment? “She was lucky she wasn’t wearing a thong that day, otherwise the idea would have failed!”

It would have been a challenge, but if she'd been going commando, then the idea would really have failed.

[Frank Cox]

Apparently some people pay big money for that sort of thing

[Randy Stankey]

Which side did she put over her face? The front or the back?

Not a very pleasant conundrum to consider...

[Frank Cox]

https://canoe.com/news/weird/ukraini...e-cb2963cb5a74

Ukrainian woman uses panties for facemask

Talk about quick thinking.

A Ukrainian woman wasn’t about to be denied service at a post office for not wearing a mask, as has been mandated in her country since April.

The woman was caught on camera taking off her panties and then wearing them as a makeshift mask. Not surprisingly, the footage recorded at the Nova Posha post office in Kiev went viral.

The woman clearly wasn’t pleased when told she wouldn’t be allowed to take care of her postal requirements and angrily removed her pants in front of other customers and put the white panties over her face.

According to U.K.’s The Sun, the woman is a mother of two who doesn’t like the restrictions imposed in Ukraine during the COVID-19 pandemic. Residents have had to wear a mask in public and carry identification since April.

“Well, she found a way around it,” someone said on a social media post. “No one has banned the use of panties instead of a mask yet!”

The best comment? “She was lucky she wasn’t wearing a thong that day, otherwise the idea would have failed!”

Even though it was a special delivery, apparently a post-office employee is in hot water for releasing the video.

[Leo Enticknap]

And another novel coronavirus treatment from Iran. Drinking camel's piss can help you beat the bug ... but only when it's fresh and warm!

Iranian ‘Prophetic Medicine’ Leader: Camel Urine Cures Coronavirus

An Iranian man who describes himself as an Islamic prophetic medicine healer has prescribed drinking camel urine as a treatment for the Chinese coronavirus, Radio Farda reported Monday.

In a video that has reportedly gone viral across social media, the Chairman of the Prophetic Medicine Society Medhi Sabili urged people to consume the urine when it is both “fresh and warm.” It was quickly ridiculed by Iranians, many of whom warned about the dangers of such treatment.

The consumption of camel urine, as well as camel meat and camel meat, is not uncommon across the Middle East. In some countries, including Saudi Arabia, many believe that it can cure a range of ailments.

داروی جدید ضد کرونا طبق روایات اسلامی: شاش شتر. pic.twitter.com/n6W2NDXgFx

— رضا حقيقتنژاد (@rezahn56) April 19, 2020

Rather than curing the coronavirus, the World Health Organization (WHO) last year warned that camel urine was actually a transmitter of the Middle East respiratory syndrome coronavirus (MERS-CoV), a virus from the same family as the Chinese coronavirus causing the current pandemic.

The WHO noted at the time:

Although most of human cases of MERS-CoV infections have been attributed to human-to-human infections in health care settings, current scientific evidence suggests that dromedary camels are a major reservoir host for MERS-CoV and an animal source of MERS infection in humans.

The origins of the virus are not fully understood but, according to the analysis of different virus genomes, it is believed that it may have originated in bats and was transmitted to camels sometime in the distant past.

The report did reaffirm the nutritional benefits of other camel products:

Camel meat and camel milk are nutritious products that can continue to be consumed after pasteurization, cooking, or other heat treatments.

Until more is understood about MERS-CoV, people with diabetes, renal failure, chronic lung disease, and immunocompromised persons are considered to be at high risk of severe disease from MERS-CoV infection. These people should avoid contact with camels, drinking raw camel milk or camel urine, or eating meat that has not been properly cooked.

Iran remains one of the countries most badly hit by the coronavirus pandemic. As a result, some Islamic doctors have attempted to come up with their own cures for the infection, with remedies including placing a cotton ball dipped in violet oil up one’s anus, or dropping bitter watermelon oil in ears and nose.

Many Iranians also believe in the effectiveness of Iranian traditional medicine, which largely centers around taking large doses of fruit and vegetables. These methods are so popular that the price of such products has risen since the outbreak began.

There are currently no known scientific cures for the Chinese coronavirus, nor has a vaccine been developed. Trials are currently taking place around the world, although there is currently no fixed date for its release. Many expect the vaccine to reach mass distribution as late as the second half of 2021.

According to recent data, Iran has so far recorded around 83,500 cases and 5,200 deaths from the coronavirus, making it the eighth-most affected country worldwide. Many doubt the accuracy of official Iranian statistics, however; some estimates say upwards of 30,000 have died of coronavirus infections in the country.

[Leo Enticknap]

I believe that Elvis was supposed to be keeping Hitler and Lord Lucan company up there at one point, too. Anyways, here's one that even the Sunday Sport would have been unlikely to come up with ... and it really should have been published 16 days ago! A Dr. Salami in Iran has invented a magnetic "coronameter," that can sniff out someone who has the bug from 100 meters away!

ran’s Major General Hossein Salami reportedly doubled down Friday on claims the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps (IRGC) had invented a special magnetic, all purpose coronavirus detector machine that is the envy of the world.

The IRGC commander reasserted claims the miraculous device can remotely identify infected people and contaminated areas within a range of 100 meters through a special aerial system and internal bipolar magnetic fields.

According to an AL Monitor report, Salami claimed dozens of countries have already contacted Iran about the machine, but if the U.S. ever asked Iran to share the technology he would refuse, saying it “would not be shared with the Americans until all sanctions are removed.”

Salami unveiled the device April 15 on Iranian television. According to Salami, it can remotely detect an infected surface or individual in five seconds, as Breitbart News reported.

Scientists working under IRGC command designed the detector, which uses a magnetic field and reportedly has an accuracy rate approaching 80 percent – but only in favorable conditions.

Many critics pointed out the device replicated the fraudulent bomb detection wands, invented by a British businessman, that were used in Iraq at the height of suicide bombings.

Video evidence provided by the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI) would seem to support that theory.

In May 2017, the Iranian news agency, IRNA, aired a report about an identical-looking device that was purported to be able to detect between one liter and 1000 liters of fuel, also using magnetic fields and “bi-polar” technology.

The device was meant to help Iranian authorities combat fuel smuggling, MEMRI reports.

Despite Iran’s serious claims for the future success of the machine, not everyone is convinced.

Jokes about the device are going viral on social media with the Persian-language Twitter account of the U.S. State Department posting: “It is strange that the device always beeps when it is nearing the guards. Can you next build a device for detection of jinns?”

Len Khodrokovsky, a State Department advisor, also took to Twitter to share his scepticism about the electronic, all-magnetic coronavirus detector machine:

Introducing a brand-new, highly-sophisticated CORONAMETER from the fine medical professionals at the IRGC. Endorsed by Dr. Salami. pic.twitter.com/6uNQC5Gz5J

— Len Khodorkovsky (@MessageFromLen) April 15, 2020

Closer to home an advisor to President Hassan Rouhani blasted the IRGC for making the machine public, expressing his fears such a move amounts to an “advertisment” of state capabilities.

“Do not advertise vaccines, medicine, [coronavirus] test kits or unique and innovative virus detection devices that have not been approved by the Health Ministry,” said Hesameddin Ashena, who is Rouhani’s media advisor, according to Radio Farda.

The criticism has been roundly rejected by the IRGC with spokesman Ramazan Sharif saying, “Soon, the production process, technical features and capabilities of the device will be shared with the media and experts.”

In response to the international mockery of the device, Sharif was unmoved. He said “Iranians take more pride and honor in causing the shock and anger of enemies and those who want ill for us.”

I don't claim to be a scientific expert, but how, exactly, can magnetism detect a pathogen? Biomatter of any description cannot be polarized, surely?

[Randy Stankey]

I remember the good, old days when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
— George Burns

[Dave Macaulay]

I miss the days when news in "reputable" newspapers and online outlets was more reliable than what was in the National Enquirer, Weekly World news, The Onion, etc.

[Allan Young]

I'll see your World War 2 bomber and raise you...

[James Biggins]

This is an old one (specifically, the Sunday Sport of October 6, 2013, p. 7)

Funny, but if it was in the Sunday Sport it was, of course completely bogus.


e.g.


sunday-sport.gif